Ebony’s Playlist: What’s on Repeat? Ep. 7 – I Got A Crush On You

I love a good crush. Seeing someone and feeling all these irrational feelings. Getting giddy just hearing their name. Giggling when you tell your friends and you can’t stop smiling. All the possibilities. In your mind, they are perfect and they say exactly what you want them to say. The best! I aspire to have at least one crush a year. It reminds me that I actually have the capacity to like someone. I chose these songs because they describe the different aspects of having a crush perfectly.

Obvious by Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera’s self-titled debut album came out in 1999. This would have put her at 18-19 years old when this song was released. So, when she says, “I’m feeling like a little girl”, uhh sweetie, you were. I know most people wouldn’t even know this song. More familiar with her other songs, Genie in a Bottle and What A Girl Wants. And of course, Reflection from the Disney movie Mulan. Reflection introduced me and the world to Christina Aguilera and back in the day I brought her CD, and read the cover front to back and over again. I got stuck on this song. I am probably the Queen of Crushes so this particular song was one of my favorites from the album.

Not Tonight by Elle Varner

I can’t explain it, but Elle Varner’s album Perfectly Imperfect, keeps me coming back again and again. I feel like there is a song for so many situations in love, and depending on how I feel and what is on my mind, I can find a song to play on repeat to match my mood. Not Tonight speaks to my Queen of Crushes heart. I literally had a crush this year and this song came to mind when I was going through the worst of it. I am now at 2%, and I am almost over my crush. I won’t need to overdose on this song for much longer. Mind you, I have been at 2% since June 😂.

Dreaming of You by Selena

This song is the title track from Selena’s crossover album of the same name. Unfortunately, she was killed before she could see the success this song and the album would become. There is so much I love about this song. One of my favorite parts is when she actually gets the man, even though I think you shouldn’t date your crush. They rarely ever live up to the hype. Still, I can just imagine what it must feel like to have all these feelings and to find out the person feels the same way. Another part I love is at 4 minutes and 10 seconds. Just a beautiful adlib and I love what she did with her voice.

wish that I could by UMI

UMI is ready to date and have sex with her crush. She has gone past the giddy, irrational feelings. Get it girl! Lol. Someone has to be brave. When I was younger, I was brave enough to make the first step towards my crush. That step let me know to leave them where I found them 😂. I remember it was this guy that worked at the bank and I was so smitten. When I waited in line, I would do the count to see if I would get him as my teller. One day, I gave him my number. It was the beginning of the end. One time, I was talking to him on the phone and he told me when he runs out of juice, he melts popsicles to drink 🤦🏾‍♀️. I hope UMI has better luck.

I would love to hear one of your crush stories! I definitely have a few more stories. I didn’t learn my lesson right away with Popsicle Boy. I continued to have delusional high hopes towards a few other crushes before I got some sense. These songs allow me to enjoy, and reminisce about the best parts of having a crush. I hope there is at least one song that you like and add to your playlist. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚

P.S. – Honorable Mention

Every time I read the title to this blog post, I sing it the way that she does in this song 😂. This is probably the first song that I was aware someone was singing about a crush. This is such a great song from my youth. The dance moves y’all. Lol.

Crush On You by The Jets

Book 49

Using my right that people fought and died for. 

As of 5:29 am today, it has been a full week since I turned 49 years old. I wanted to write about the start of this book last week, but I hadn’t figured out who I wanted to be for the next 365 days. Listen, I have a better idea now, but I’m still not solid on it. Well, I am not solid on the steps to execute my goals. One thing I was completely solid on was that this book will have a soundtrack. Songs that represent the three areas of my life I want to focus on this year,  Love, Purpose, and Connection.

Love

I have been obsessed with this song. When I think of love, this song plays in my head, on repeat. Meet the Sun by Joseph Solomon speaks to my heart on another level. I really like him. The lyrics 🥲. Meet the Sun represents to me how I want a man, who will become my boyfriend, and then my husband, to feel about me. The reverence in which he talks about this woman. I want to be wanted, I want to be loved, I want him to want me to stay. I am manifesting this love in my life. I am seriously going to spend this personal new year putting real effort into this manifestation. I feel like I have been laxed about it. I tell people that I want to be in love and get married. I think about it, but no action to support this goal. No more fucking around, not literally. I mean, no more hoping that love will be delivered to my door. I am going out to get it. My friend already wrote out my wedding guest list for 2028. I have to make it come true.

 

Purpose

I have previously read that maybe our purpose is not one big thing or mission that we need to accomplish on this Earth, maybe it is all the little things and ways that we do to make people feel loved, seen, and uplifted. I have been embracing this tidbit and living my life to be a blessing to others. But I still feel unfulfilled. I feel that there is more and that I have not discovered my true purpose. This is actually one of the reasons why I started therapy. All three of my focuses for 49 are why I am in therapy. I want to leave this planet knowing I have served God as He intended me to. Beyoncé’s I Was Here will be my guiding light to learn my purpose and serve in my purpose. The first time I heard this song, it really touched my heart and occasionally I come back and listen to it. It just seems like the perfect song to express my desire for purpose.


Connection

When I said I liked Joseph Solomon, I really meant that. For my spiritual connection and building my relationship with God, my song is Find Me by Joseph Solomon. Joseph says, “Lend my ears your voice.” That is the first line of the song. It’s perfect! I want to hear God’s voice. I want to know at all times  when He is speaking to me. And I don’t want to just listen, I want to do what he is instructing me to do. I crave a deeper connection with God, but I also fear it at the same time. I fear that I will lose myself. When in reality isn’t that what we are supposed to do? Even in this moment as I am typing this, I realize I think too highly of myself. Lol. I think that who I am is better than who God calls me to be. Smh. This ego is blocking my blessings. I want all my blessings. I want God’s continued grace, favor, and mercy. I want God to lead me. I want to be connected. After writing this, I know I have to get over myself. God has not given up on me. He continues to find me. I need to find who I am in His eyes.

 

I want this personal new year to be a breakthrough year. I want to know that I haven’t just started along the path, but that I am easing on down the road. And I mean easing 😆. Everything doesn’t have to be hard. As a 49 year old woman (damn I’m old), I want more life, more love, more books, more music, more connections. I want more!  I want to be well and whole, and I wish for you to be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚

Ebony’s Playlist: What’s on Repeat? – Sexy Saturday: Double Back

A little spin on this Sexy Saturday. We all know better, yet we do it anyway. Doubling back to that old thang. Maybe this playlist will inspire you to not double back when you are feeling weak. Please don’t let it have the opposite effect 😳. Be strong!

Another Again by John Legend

This double back is toxic. They already had a tumultuous love affair on Again, a song also featured on the album Once Again. They can’t get it together, but they do it again and again. Unfortunately, I’ve been here. Glad I got some sense and finally broke that cycle.

Mr. Yeah by The Dream

This song is so stupid and I love it. He is so out of line. He talking shit to her and to her man. The part I always laugh at is when he says, “I can make you what you used to be. What’s that? A woman.” As if she isn’t because she isn’t having sex with him 🙄. Goofy ass. My favorite part is in the outro where he says, “You can always come back.” For any of us sinners, there is always one that we can always go back to. Yet, I am still encouraging you to be strong.

Lights On by Kwaku Asante

Every since I discovered this singer, I just keep finding new songs to love and add to my playlist. His voice, the music, the words. The way his lyrics describe events and things, I come away with a mental image, no video needed. It is kinda like storytelling. He is doubling back for her style, naked, and her smile.

Speaking in Tongues by Toni Braxton

This song was originally set to be on a regular Sexy Saturday playlist. Toni Braxton’s sultry voice is perfect for sex songs. But when I truly listened to the words, I realize that she is trying to double back. She even gave him her phone number. Now, what she is trying to double back on, I’m not exactly sure. I get the impression that they were doing some kissing and phone sex. Sounds sexually frustrating. Hey, no judgement here 🤷🏾‍♀️. Whatever works.

Over(When We Said Goodbye) by Thirdstory

I am so annoyed by this group. Thirdstory disbanded to pursue separate projects. I literally haven’t heard anything from any of them since. They should have stayed together and kept making beautiful music. Maybe, one day in the future they will get back together. I think the double back in this song is the worst. Three years away and they jumped right back in. Smh. Still not judging. Just making an observation.

I have been listening to some new music and I am very excited about some new artists I have found. I am excited to share new, heavily repeated songs with you 😆. I hope you are enjoying the Ebony’s Playlist songs and even adding some to your own playlist. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡💚