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Memories of Monroe

This is an ageratum. Some people think they are plants that return annually, when in fact each year you are seeing the babies of the previous plant. I thought that was interesting.

My skin was crawling yesterday. Not a lot a bit, just a little bit. I decided to cross the state line and head up I-75 to Michigan. No real destination, just wasting gas. Which sounds crazy as hell as much as gas costs these days. Yet, I know when I get like this and I don’t take a drive, it just gets worse. The drive with the right music and the right weather calms my soul. It was chilly, but beautiful yesterday. I found a new to me album, Find Me by Joseph Solomon, and a new song, 27f, to obsess over. Based on Spotify’s listening stats, I played 27f 28 times yesterday and I have listened to it twice today, with more to come. I know I’m ridiculous 😂.

Unfortunately, for my driving aspirations, but fortunately for my gas tank, I didn’t make it too far. There was construction and lane closures at different places on the highway. I decided to turn around right after Eureka Rd. because it was going down to one lane. Umm… it is not soothing to my soul to sit in a construction zone. Back down I-75 I go. There was another lane closure issue that I wanted to avoid so I ended up driving through Monroe, MI on Monroe St./Dixie Highway. I was flooded with so many memories.

For those who don’t know, I worked at Ford Motor Company in Monroe, MI for about 9 years. I took a buyout and have spent the last 20+ years trying to figure out what the hell I want to be when I grow up. I know the streets of Monroe just as much as I know my Toledo streets. Yesterday, I passed by where my beauty school used to be and I remembered Brooke and I scrounging our dollars together to get garlic bread from Tiffany’s Pizza. I saw the A&W I went to with an ex-boyfriend who used to live in Monroe. Which of course made me think about him, and I hoped he is doing well. He was the sweetest. Then, I passed a restaurant that was part of a scavenger hunt I participated in to raise money for God knows what because I don’t remember. And though my team, Sherry, Stephanie, Tammy and I, didn’t raise a substantial amount of money, we had the most fun. We still laugh and talk about it to this day.

It was at this time that the book Twice by Mitch Albom popped in my head. Twice is one of my top 10 books of the year. If you haven’t seen the list, you can check it out here. I thought about all the fun I had in those years of working for Ford and the people I met. I would love to live through that time again. Of course, there are things I would do differently. Yet, I am a little worried that if I had not done those exact things that I did before, would I meet the same people and would it be the same fun? Dammit, I don’t know! Because I’ve told myself before, if I could do it over again, I would have married Andretti Sims so I wouldn’t have to change my last name 😂. He also was the sweetest and nerdiest dude which is totally my type now. I was fucking up when I was younger 🤦🏾‍♀️. Though I am sure I wouldn’t have done half the fun shit I did if I was married.

What I should be doing is, holding these memories near to my heart and being grateful that I have them. That when I ride through Monroe again, I can fill my soul with joy and tamp down the discontent. To not focus on what is missing, but see what has been and what will come. I have so many beautiful memories with beautiful people. I even have a memory of going to Monroe, MI with my soul sisters, getting chicken from a gas station and eating it at the park on the Elm Ave. and Monroe St. And this was before gas station chicken got really popular 😆.

I am not even in my feelings about turning 49, but I know something is missing. After writing this post, I would say the answer is fun. I need to have more fun and create more memories. That is a goal I can set for my own personal new year. I am mindful in this moment that it doesn’t have to be big things or events. The memories I just shared were all everyday moments with the right people. Welp, I guess I have fun to have. When was a time that you had so much fun and who did you have it with? How long has it been? I hope you have been blessed with an abundance of good memories with more to come. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚

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Ebony’s Playlist: What’s on Repeat? – Sexy Saturday Pt. 3

Someone seen last Saturday’s post and they were tickled by it. I guess because I followed that up with the post about Hawaii and my mom, and they thought she would see it. A couple of things. One, my mom doesn’t read my blog. I told her I cuss on here and she can’t come to terms with her precious baby cussing. Two, though I may be the baby between me and my brother, I am 48 years old soon to be 49! I would believe I am grown enough to cuss and talk about sex. This just goes to show I was a little too well-behaved as a kid. I can’t even act up in my old age 🤦🏾‍♀️😂.

Welcome to the third Sexy Saturday playlist.

Ready for Whatever by Mýa


Mýa went a while without putting much music out, but occasionally she would drop a single I wanted to add to a playlist. She does have a new album out now, Retrospect. I haven’t listened to it yet, but I am definitely going to check it out. This song is funny because she is being vulnerable and acting hard at the same time. Why can’t we just be upfront about what we want? I don’t know, I just live here.

Say It Again by H.E.R.

 

I don’t know how old H.E.R. was when she wrote this song, but I am sure she was being fast 😂. My favorite line, “You had a lot to say. No more talking, you can use that mouth in other ways.” I feel like this line can be used in real life.  I probably wouldn’t be able to say it without giggling because I am so childish. But you should feel free to use it. This song is featured on her self-titled debut album. I really like the album. The song Jungle is my absolute fave!

I Want You by Floetry


Floetry was a great group. I think they may be getting back together, but I haven’t done my research so don’t listen to me 😆. Their first album, Floetic, was nice, but their second one, Flo’Ology, is my favorite. I would say it is a no skip album. It is hard to find records like that now. Their style of music is light and flowing, no pun intended. The talking reminds me of the male characters in these newer, sexy romance novels. I guess the thing now is for men to “talk you through it” 🤭. I am honestly not grown enough for most of it. Yes, yes, I know earlier I said I was grown, but it is levels to being a grown up. I am grown enough for this song. It is pretty tame.

Can I by Alina Baraz and Galimatias


Alina Baraz is not a mainstream artist, but she is a very enterprising one. She took an instrumental that Galimatias produced and wrote lyrics for it. She published it and he liked it so much he wanted to work with her. The whole album, Urban Flora, features these breathy vocals with electronic music. They are such catchy songs, but also something you can zone out to. She has a new song, Take Care of You, that is absolutely going to appear in my Spotify Wrapped. After I finish this post, I am going to go play it out some more 😂.

Pink Crush Velvet by Raheem Devaugh


Nasty! I don’t think this song needs much commentary from me. You get the idea. I’m blushing 😊. I guess this song shows why he is called The Love King. Let’s just say he will probably end up on another Sexy Saturday playlist. Nasty ass 😆.

I think I want to make Sexy Saturdays a weekly series. If you don’t like it, let me know. I can always do something different. I just want to continue to post consistently and share my love of music with you all. And why not give you songs to add to your sex playlist? I mean your playlist. It is presumptuous of me to think that you have any other kind of playlist. Good Evening. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚

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The Enemy Within

When I tell y’all I was obsessed with this grasshopper. Look at his little leg! Now, if he would have brought his ass into the building, it would have been a different story. Lol

I have seen a lot of posts (I’m sure I am exaggerating), saying that our bodies are not the enemy. That we need to work with our bodies not against it. I don’t understand what that means. I think about my body and how it is currently working. If I went along with my body, I would be sleeping 12 – 16 hours each day and spending the other part laying around watching TV or scrolling on my phone. I go to sleep tired, I wake up tired, and I spend every minute of my day tired. I never feel rested or energized. I would eat take out for every meal because I don’t have the energy to cook. And I would definitely have a live-in housekeeper 😆. Before I was diagnosed with MS I didn’t like to clean, I sure as hell don’t want to use my limited energy to do it now. Eww!

I think about the morning when my leg gave out and how I had to get up off the floor. I didn’t hurt myself. The fall was slow therefore I could control it, but I couldn’t stop it. Now, I am on the floor and I have to strategize to get up off of it. First, I have to find something to leverage myself against to push up off the floor. I put one hand on the bed and the other hand on the nightstand. I pushed up, but my feet kept sliding on the carpet and I couldn’t get them up under me. Back down I go. This is why I say the carpet is the devil. It doesn’t have my best interest at heart. So now I’m like, let me try another area. I put one hand on the bed again and the other hand on my walker. The walker is iffy because though it has locks on it, it doesn’t lock 🤦🏾‍♀️. Don’t ask, I don’t know what its problem is. I push up again and my feet keep sliding on the carpet, but I am almost up and I am determined that this is it. I grab the footboard on my bed to keep me where I am while I try to figure out this sliding issue. So, I am half on the bed fighting to keep from going back down. I say to myself, “No, I am not going back down. I am getting the fuck up off this floor.” I take a breath and push all the way up. It is shaky, but I did it. I won!!!

So what do they mean? I feel like I’m in a fight with my body everyday. We are not friends. My body is not trying to work with me, so how can I work with it? I am not sure if I should call my body the enemy, but kinda. It is attacking itself after all. It sees itself as the enemy. And here I am trying to tell it how to behave. It is like a teenager that thinks they grown, but doesn’t know shit. We all know, you can’t tell teenagers nothing! So, when I make my body do something it doesn’t want to, I feel like I won. I’m not keep score though. If I did, I am sure I’m losing 😂.

So what do they mean? I don’t know. I probably should ask someone. Maybe they have some sound advice. Maybe, I am just like the teenagers and don’t listen to shit either. I guess until I find the piece of advice that fits me and my situation, I will keep focusing on winning the battles, if not the war. Keep fighting! Stay well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚