What is the worst thing that could happen to your car besides a car accident? Besides someone stealing it? Besides someone breaking in? Besides a bird pooping through your sunroof? Besides leaving the windows down and it raining in the car? Ok, when I think about it, there are a lot of worse things that can happen. Lol. Well a really bad thing did happen though! A stinky thing. I forgot a bottle of apple cider vinegar in my car, it froze and busted. I mean this is some traumatic shit. The smell of the shot of apple cider vinegar I take in the morning makes me gag, now my whole car smells like that 🤢. Not cool. I did take it to get detailed and so far no more stink. Hoping the smell doesn’t come back 🤞🏾.
Lately I have been wanting to write. Like pen to paper. I compose all of my blog posts in my Evernote app then transfer them over to WordPress when I am ready to publish. I never write them. Even when I have a small idea that I want to expand upon later, I put it in my Samsung notes. I haven’t done much writing over the last couple years. Recently I wrote a letter to a friend and mailed it. Lol. I went straight old school. I used to love to write. I have been cleaning out the house and I discovered so many journals from when I used to write. I still have my very first journal. It’s missing a few pages (don’t ask), but it’s still intact.
I was a journal junkie. I would buy them, use about 25% of the pages, see a cuter one and upgrade. So I didn’t know what was in these journals. I read through a couple of them and I was so disturbed. For one, I said some pretty mean shit to myself. Things I wouldn’t dare say now. I was so cute back then. Probably not the best personality (😄), but no reason to be down on myself. Two, I spun my wheels year after year after year. Same shit, different year. I was going nowhere. Even when I told myself that I was going to adopt a new way of thinking or being, I went back to the old way. I dated the same type of guys and wrote about my feelings as if I was experiencing them for the first time. No, it was a repeat of the last relationship.
The thing is maybe if I had went back and read these journals before now, I probably could have saved myself some heartache. I probably could have seen these patterns and stopped repeating them. But I didn’t. It hurt a little, naw, a lot to know I wasted so much time. Does anyone else feel like this? Time I could have been doing big things and not worrying about those losers 😆.
I have been wise enough over the years to not allow myself to regret anything though. What’s done is done. Find the silver lining and the lesson and move on. I can’t imagine how miserable I would be if I had regrets. Because most of the things I have done in my life I would not do again. Lol.
So what’s my point? I don’t know. Read your journals so you don’t keep making the same mistakes. Uh, don’t regret the mistakes you’ve made. Whatever happened in your life up until this very moment is the past. We learn from it but we don’t dwell in it. Show yourself some compassion. Though you may think that you are the only one who hasn’t figured it out, that is far from true. There is someone else, hell a lot of people, out there still running in place. And up until about 3 years ago, I was one of them. And mind you, I am only trotting along. I am not even close to running to meet my goals. Just know, you have another day to make it happen. So make it happen, okay? Okay! Be well and whole. Much love 🧡💚