I rarely talk about my health or issues that I have because that is not the purpose of my blog. My mission will continue to be uplifting, promoting self-love and acceptance of ourselves and others. But I have been sorely absent from posting content besides my Black Facts and I have fallen off as of a couple of weekends ago So, I guess an explanation is due at this point.
As most of you know, unless you are new, I have multiple sclerosis (MS). I manage to do well with MS, but occasionally I will have an issue. I had been under the impression I was in an active relapse for a little over a month. What does that look like? A little different from past relapses. Extreme fatigue, memory loss, brain fog (hard to focus, concentrate), muscle spasms, numb toes, balance and equilibrium off, and constant tripping. A couple of other symptoms, but these are the main ones.
How does this effect me? Well, most days I realize I am scraping by, a shell of myself. Writing everything down because if you ask me a couple hours later, I will not remember. Coming home after work and doing absolutely nothing because I used all the energy and concentration I had at work. Limited activity due to issues with walking, tripping and legs feeling heavy and tired. Worst, no reading or writing.
What is the solution? A three day IV steroid treatment. The purpose of the treatment is to tamp down the inflammation that is on 10. Once treatment is completed, hopeful I will regain all of my previous abilities before this particular episode. There is a possibility it may not. It is also a possibility I’m not even having an episode and the MS has just progressed. Who the hell knows?
I actually started writing this blog post when I was receiving my second treatment. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I received my treatment. How am I now? A little better, but not as I was. So, at this point, I need to make adjustments and learn to work around my new reality. Yeah, it sucks! It really fucking sucks. Yet, I am okay. I have learned through constant reframing of my thoughts to be grateful. Grateful that even though I trip, I rarely fall. Grateful that even though my short term memory is taking a hit, my long term memory is still intact. Grateful that I have friends and family who are always there for me and praying for me.
I honestly don’t know how to completely adjust to these new changes. I am working on it though. Please be patient with me. I will be back in full force soon. I still have lots to say, it’s just getting my thoughts down on paper in cohesive sentences is the challenge. Writing is something I have always done and I always want to do so I am not giving up.
Thank you for your continued support. Thank you for your understanding. Be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚
Hi Eb, You never fail to amaze me. I love your determination to always be the very best you can be, even when life sucks. The fact that you allow yourself to at times be imperfect and vulnerable and then reveal it all to all of us in your blog, with such honesty, makes me so proud to know you. I think it was Hemingway who said something about writing being like opening a vein and bleeding. I feel that when I read your stuff. You’re sharing your soul and I love you for it. Thank you. ❤️
Thank you so much for these kind and loving words. My heart 🥰