God is testing me. This is nothing new. We all have tests we pass, tests we fail but still learn the proper way to pass or tests we fail miserably. I don’t know what my percentage is on the tests I passed or the ones I failed, but if I had to guess I am sure I would be in between the fail but still learn and fail miserably levels.
I was presented with an indefinite amount of time off work due to my health condition and the coronavirus possibly forming a toxic relationship. When it happened I was like, “If I am off too long I may not want to come back.” I haven’t went a significant amount of time off work in over 10 years. Like what in the hell would I do with myself? Then it hit me, God wants to know if I mean what I say.
“God I just need some time to relax.” “Maybe if I had some real time off, I can clear my mind out and start to really figure out what I want to do.” “I could write more if I just had the time.” And so on and so on. All the excuses I put out there to justify my inactivity. Some of them may be legitimate but most are just bullshit.
I joined a book club. I just realized this isn’t my first book club. I said it was but I totally forgot about one that I was a part of about 3 years ago. That book club was good but a little inconsistent and eventually disbanded.
This new book club is called the Rich Lit Society. It is hosted by none other than my future husband Sean Croxton. Lol. He has so many great, motivational projects out here. Anyways, we are assigned a book to read with specific pages to be covered on our Wednesday weekly Zoom meeting. The calls usually last about an hour and a half. There is also questions provide by Sean to get us thinking about the material. These questions helps us to dig a little deeper. This month’s book is called “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. I am struggling to stay within the pages assigned each week. I just want to devour the whole book. Lol. I will not go into detail about the book in this post. It deserves a post of its own. I will say I hope that it helps me along in this journey of discovery.
I have an opportunity that I did not see myself being presented with any time soon. It’s here people! I am excited and terrified at the same time. I am scared that I won’t find my place and I will spend this time spinning in circles. I feel like I have done just that my whole life. But the possibilities of what will happen are endless and makes my heart race. It makes me think of this quote.
Now all the obstacles have been removed. God asked, “What are you going to do?” If I don’t take this time and utilize it to the best of my ability, I don’t know what will happen. What I do know is if I do not accomplish something, I have been lying all this time. And I don’t like lying. Not to myself or others. So here goes!
As more and more businesses open up, I just want each and every one of you to be cautious and stay safe. And also continue to be well and whole. Much love 🧡💚