I have just been thinking. Thinking and not thinking. Thinking about random weird shit. Thinking about life and death. Thinking about sickness. Thinking about the world opening back up and what could possibly happen. My mind is always so overwhelmed with thoughts. I sat down one day to write them out. I wrote two sentences. I wrote “I’m unhappy and I can’t shake it. I am ready to live a different life but I’m stuck in this one.” Deep huh?
I am sure some people will ask, “Well what are you waiting for?” The problem is I waited too long. I reached my expiration date last year. But I had loose ends to tie up, selling my house. So I signed another year lease on my apartment to make sure all was taken care of. To make sure that when I leave I don’t have to come back. But now the house is sold and I have to reconcile with being here. And I haven’t done that yet. I am ready to spread my wings and fly. It doesn’t help that summer and nice weather is around the corner.
I know this post is a little heavy but I feel like it is necessary. I know I am not the only one person who feels this way. I know I’m not the only person who wakes up and feels the sameness. I know I’m not the only person who wants to run away and sit on a beach as they watch the sunrise. The one good thing for me is that it will change. I am moving at the end of this year as soon as my lease is up. I’ll be in South Carolina sitting on the beach watching the sunrise. How about you? What are you waiting for?
It is not to late to make that change. The unhappiness and the sameness of life, especially after coming through this last year, can be overwhelming. It can stifle your creativity. It can kill your imagination. It can dim your light. Hell, I was thinking about taking an embroidery class to break this sameness. Lol. I didn’t sign up, but it’s not off the table. How can you break the sameness? What have you been wanting to try? What place have you wanted to visit?
Life is short and time flies. I know these are played out sayings but they still hold true. In about a week in a half, it will be June. What the hell? It is almost time for me to take stock and see what I have done with the first half of my year. And I already know it isn’t nearly as much as I wanted to. I know it has been difficult to live our lives as we may have wanted. But let’s not give up. Let’s set new goals and put different activities on our bucket list. As this nation opens up and you are ready to get your spark back, just be safe. Stay well and whole. Much love 🧡💚