Ebony on Everything

I have started this post about 3 or 4 different times over the last 3 to 4 weeks. I always stop after a while. I’m not sure exactly why. Not feeling inspired. Overwhelmed and not sure how to articulate my thoughts. This time I am at my favorite place sitting on a wooden bench, feet dangling above the ground. The breeze is blowing across my neck and I can see water for miles. Nothing is more calming to me. People are walking along the walkway and ducks are bobbing around in the water. What more could I ask for?

Well…a boat would be nice so I can bob around like the ducks. Or a residence on the water so this could be my view every day. Lol. Guess I’ll settle for this perfect day for now.

I have had some mentally and emotionally draining last few weeks. Usually I’m pretty good at handling things but not this time. I mean I’m not messed up or on the verge of a breakdown. Just not thinking and creatively numb. What the hell? I started a blog because I have so much to say and then to not be able to say it is weird. Also, I think I just got out of the routine of waking up and writing with a fresh, unburdened mind. Now in this moment looking at the subtle movements of the water and this clear blue sky, I feel some of the pressure releasing off my chest. I don’t exactly feel like me but, I feel better.

I recommend getting away from your thoughts and going to your favorite place. Rejuvenate your soul and find the peace that makes you whole. Or at least what takes off some of the pressure. There is nothing like it. There are some things in life that are truly unavoidable. And when you come across these things, these situations plus our own negative self talk and problems we have created for ourselves, how do you handle them? How do you balance yourself out? Whatever works for you, make sure you do it. We have to present our best selves to the world. It is what we are meant to do and meant to be. Our best is what allows others to be their best. We smile, laugh, inspire, encourage, uplift. Someone needs you. Don’t let your light stay dimmed. I had a friend and coworker read my blog for the first time recently. She told me how she really enjoyed it. That she laughed and she cried. That is exactly how I wanted people to be affected by my simple and true words. By me exposing some of my vulnerability. By letting my light shine. Don’t go too long without taking care of self. I may be the person who needs your light. When I think about it, it’s probably your fault that my light was dimmed. Dammit! Get yourself together right now. Lol. Seriously, be well and whole, the world needs you at your best.

A year ago the MS Walk was the same event that sparked a fire in me to start my blog and quit waiting for the right time, look, feel. This year I thought it would be the event that got me back to regularly blogging. Not so much. I really did have a great time and my team may have been smaller but they were just as awesome and inspiring. The walk is just so amazing. You see how many people are affected by MS. Not just the person with MS but their families and their friends. This walk shows the love and support. I had went back and forth with myself trying to decide if I was going to say all the good things in one post or if I was going to put good and bad in it. At this point I need to just say something. It’s been 2 weeks since the event. So here goes.

The Good Stuff
Like I said my team was awesome. They were an assortment of friends and family. It was a beautiful sunny day. One of my team members was finally able to walk this year. She represented Ebony’s Avengers by completing the whole mile, twice. While the rest of the team stayed with me walking at a snail’s pace. Here we are at the finish line.

I was blessed again this year to give away another blanket. I finished the blanket at 6 am that morning. I did want to add more to it but I just ran out of time.

It looks small but it was just big enough for Ellen.

Ellen, of course, is a beautiful person who also happens to have MS. I met her in the bathroom. Lol. I am sure I creeped her out. I just told her that I wanted to give her something but it was just outside the door with my friend Anthony. When we got out of the bathroom, she did wait to see what it was but I am sure she was still weirded out. I explained to her that I had MS as well. Starting last year I wanted to give a blanket away to someone like me. To someone who has to deal with this unpredictable, life-changing disease. She was a little emotional but also touched that I had chosen her this year. Surprisingly, she was at the MS walk all by herself. No one from her team had shown up. She got out there with her walker and showed the world that she won’t let MS stop her. And she was moving pretty good. It was a pleasure to meet her and to put a smile on her face. God definitely picked a deserving person this year as well.

Now for next year, I believe that I will still make a blanket but depending on the weekend I may not be able to attend. One of my good friends is getting married in Las Vegas and I will absolutely be there. So hopefully the walk will be the weekend before or after the wedding.

The Bad Stuff
I have seen the MS walk go from a thriving event with a bunch of activities before and after the walk to a shell of an event. This is pretty disturbing to me. I am not sure if there was a change in the event organizers or if they were just looking to downsize the event. Either way it sucked.

Now this is the worst part about the walk. One year the University of Toledo had a bridge blocked off due to construction that we would normally cross. That year the Walk used a different route. Understandable. What isn’t understandable is why they continue to use this new route? The route is not MS friendly. It involves going up and down a hill. It also has variations in the path that makes me use too much energy to stay balanced. I am tired a quarter of a mile in. This allows for me to assume that there is not anyone affected by MS on the committee helping to plan the walk. Which doesn’t make any sense at all. My goal is to walk the walk as long as I possibly can. It may take 45 minutes to walk a mile, but I can know that I did it. This is important to us.

Lastly, there are not any clear directions of what door to enter for the event. One year it was the front door of the building. The next year it was the back, even though I parked closer to the front to save energy for the walk. What the hell? Get it together people. I am truly interested in being on the committee and I am going to reach out to see if I can. The next year’s walk cannot be like this year’s. It was the worse so far.

There is so many things that a person with MS has to go through and will go through. The walk should be one of the good things. As I said, I debated if I was going to say all these negative things in this post or create a different one. At the rate I’m going with posting, it would have been another 2 weeks before I said it. Lol.

This post is set up to be shared with my Facebook page. I have not deleted my account but I am still not active on Facebook. Therefore the best way to contact me is through my email, elsims27@yahoo.com or call/text, 419-213-9391. Or you can comment below.