Ebony on Everything

I know this is not Mental Health Awareness Month, but my heart is heavy and my mind is overactive. News came on Sunday of Cheslie Kryst, 2019 Miss USA, passing away due to suicide. Why was Cheslie depressed? She won the Miss USA pageant. She was a host on Extra, meeting famous people and attending glamorous events. She had accomplished so much in her young age. A lawyer with an MBA. She was always smiling and laughing. Most people would be confused as to why a beautiful young lady, who looked like she had a great life, would want to leave this world? Back in the day, so would I. Now, I have a better understanding.

I will not say I have any inkling of what Cheslie was going through before her death. Do I know what it’s like to be a woman in this world? A black woman in a world that is still racist? A woman that is aging and feeling like she has not done enough and that she may never do enough? I know all of that. I know of the pressures of this world. I know it takes strength that only God can give to continue to stay positive, to not give in to negative self talk and to not let the opinion of others weigh me down. I know that I have to constantly find gratitude through my limitations and adjust every time one of my current abilities are altered. I know that I am not far from experiencing depression myself. And that any day, if I slack up just a little, I may find myself there.

So when it is all said and done, let’s not judge. Let’s seek to understand. Let’s find compassion and empathy. Let’s be kind. I don’t know what you are dealing with and you don’t know what I am dealing with. We don’t know who is suffering from depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts. We don’t walk around with our burdens on display. We hide them. We cover them up with smiles, make up, nice clothes, big houses, fancy cars. We bombard people with pictures of our fun times and happy moments. We are scared of letting people truly see us. We think that people won’t understand. The truth is, they will, more than we know.

After my friend shared the news in our group chat, I became angry. I was mad at my friends, as if they had done something. But on the other side of anger is hurt. I would be devastated if one of my friends was hurting and hiding it from me. I would be mad that they thought I wouldn’t drop everything and help in whatever way they needed. I told them that in the chat with so much feeling behind my words. My heart breaking at the mere thought. And realizing the most selfish part of me would be hurt that now I have to spend the rest of my life without one of them.

Mental health awareness and treatment has come a long way since back in the day when they would cut out portions of your brain, as if that was an answer. Mental health is starting to lose its stigma. It is starting to get the attention it should have been gotten. The pandemic has helped to highlight its importance. But it still has a ways to go. If you are suffering, please get help. Don’t think that you will just wake up one day and be better. It doesn’t work that way. There are resources available, medication, counseling, group therapy.  You just need to find the one that works for you. I am telling you, the world is a better place with you in it. Make being well and whole a priority. Much Love 🧡 💚 with an extra dose of Love ❤️.

This Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I got on my soap box. I was general upset with the energy that is put into this holiday. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. absolutely deserves the honor and respect. But it usually doesn’t extend past his day of recognition. There is not a display of energy year round to make his dream a reality. Some things that I say here may offend people, but I don’t care. As a woman, who happens to be black, that lives in America, I have a problem. I have a problem with the way black people are treated in America. And it gets bigger if I look at the way black women, in particular are treated. This is usually when people get upset and bust out the all lives matter talk. No one has every denied that. It is great that people are able to see the big picture, but let’s not miss the details.

We have one national holiday where we honor one man for his contributions to this country in regards to black people. We have one month where we highlight the achievements of black people in this country. And each year they recycle the same facts and the same people. Yet there is so much more black people have contributed and continues to contribute to this country. Why are we not talking about that?

Okay, so if I have a problem, my job is to find the solution or be the solution. I will be the solution. Each week I will post about a little known Black History fact, person or event, including current ones. Whatever I find that educates and intrigues me. And if it is something that you already know, good. If not, even better.

As a black person, I know how diverse and unique we are. I love my culture and my people. I dislike when we are stereotyped by ignorant people, experience discrimination based on passed down racist beliefs and ostracized for our differences. Expected to assimilate to fit in, when what we bring is needed and helps to make this world better. I love the skin I’m in. And if I had to do it all over again, I would want to come back as a black woman with my ex-boyfriend’s hair and a couple inches more on the height 😆. Seriously, not joking. And I hope that everyone loves themselves in the same way, no matter what your race is.

So here is a quick Black History fact.

Dr. Carter Godwin Woodson is known as the father of African American History.  Dr. Woodson was an author, editor and historian. Dr. Woodson founded the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History in 1915 because he realized that black people’s contributions and history was going to be overlooked and excluded from the history books. In 1926, Dr. Woodson launched Negro History Week observed the second week of February to raise awareness and celebrate Black History.  Dr. Woodson wrote over 30 books on Black History including The Mis-Education of the Negro, The Negro in Our History and The Journal of Negro History.

You can read more about Carter Woodson at these links,

https://www.wvstateu.edu/about/history-and-traditions/carter-g-woodson.aspx

https://www.history.com/news/the-man-behind-black-history-month

I am going to be honest, I have not done much research into black history before. The facts I know are the same ones that the majority of the population are familiar with as well. This will be educational and informational for me. I am looking forward to digging in and finding nuggets of Black History that have not really been discussed. If you know any lesser known Black History facts, please don’t hesitate to share them with me. Stay well and whole. Much Love  🧡💚

You know the infamous saying, “This is going to be my year.” Every year that I used that saying, I can tell you it was not my year! Each year I try to come up with a theme. A way to live my life that honors who I am and who I want to be. A way to specify the type of year I want to have and the way I want to accomplish things. Cute idea, right? I actually think it is, but I lose sight of my theme about 4 months into the year. Or even sooner if I experience a large speed bump in the road. The theme falls by the wayside just like a resolution. Do I plan on getting rid of the theme idea for this year? Nope. I just plan on executing the theme a little differently.

If you are like me, which I am sure about 50% of people are, you don’t write down your goals where you can see them regularly. Your goals are stored in a notebook or a notebook app on your phone. You don’t trot them out often for your viewing pleasure. Your goals may bounce around in your head, occasionally coming to the front as you accomplish one here and there. Yet they are not set in stone or written out where you will see them daily. How can you accomplish something that you are not even aware of?

In one of my previous post there was a link to my article for Vivyd Magazine with ways to keep track of goals completed. And they were good ideas, in my opinion. So this post is just piggy backing on that. If you haven’t read it yet, please do. Here is the link again,

My favorite tip was the jar. I really liked how it gave you a clear idea of what happened throughout the year. It was all written out. And this is the point I’m trying to make here, don’t just type it, write it. I even heard it suggested that you write your goals daily. I have to be honest I probably won’t do that, but I can commit to writing them out weekly. This will keep my theme and my goals fresh in my mind. Not just an afterthought.

I am journal hoarder 🤦🏾‍♀️. I go in the store and I see one I can’t resist and then I add it to my collection. I have gotten better. I can say I haven’t brought one in a few months. Since I have so many, I truly don’t have an excuse for not writing my yearly theme or my goals. Find yourself a journal that is irresistible and use it to write your goals in. Or if you aren’t into journals, get a notebook. I don’t care what method you use, just write. And write repeatedly.

If you have a method that has worked for you, stick to it! It would be greatly appreciated if you share it with me so I can share it with others. I will include it on my next post. It may be just the method for someone else needs. We all learn and do things differently. There is no right or wrong way. Any new tips I come across I will share. This year, I don’t want anyone to get to the end and feel like they haven’t accomplished anything. For one, you will have. For two, it may look different than what you planned and who cares, you still rocked it out! For three, if you don’t write it down, then how will you know? Stay well and whole. Much love 🧡 💚