Today as I was walking down the steps to leave out for my sunrise adventure, I seen one of my neighbors walking up. I opened the door for her. At this point she proceeded to hold the door to let me out. I had a few bags in my hand so when I stepped out I was off balance. I started to lean to the left, which is where she was standing, and almost knocked her down. I balanced out in time, thank God. Lol. Would have been a little embarrassing to wipe my neighbor out. She was like, “I wouldn’t have let you fall”. I told her that was good to know. Smh. MS strikes again. I have so many stories like this.
At my job one of my duties is to answer the phone. I talk a lot and I talk fast. So I am immediately annoyed when people are on the phone taking forever to say what they have to say or humhawing around. I usually try to finish their sentences so that whatever it is they need can be taken care of quickly. The other day I thought about how I used to be a fast walker. My little legs would move to get where I needed to be and I wanted all slow walkers out of my way. Well now I am a slow walker. I am annoyed at my own self. Lol. There is at least one bright side to walking slow, I notice so much more. Instead of speeding past everything in life, I have the opportunity to experience it. To be in a particular moment for a little longer. To glean more from watching a situation unfold right in front of me. I notice every crack in the pavement, each slight raise of the ground, the distance from Point A to Point B. These are precautionary measures. But within those times, I am aware of everything else. Not exactly how I would have chosen to live my life. Yet interesting none the less.
Now let’s go back to the slow talkers. After having this painful slow conversation with an individual on the phone, I said to myself and my coworker, maybe I need to be more understanding. One of the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis is trouble with speech. Here is a list of a few.
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“Scanning” speech, when a person’s normal speech pattern is disrupted with long pauses between words or syllables.
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Slurring words. …
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Trouble changing tone of voice.
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Nasal-sounding speech.
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problems with volume, strength or quality of your voice.
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weakness of the chest muscles, making breathing and speech difficult
One day it might be me. And if it is, I would want people to be understanding and give me an opportunity to say what I need to say. The lesson of slow down and live in the moment was brought to me by MS. I just need to apply it to other areas of my life.
I continue to stay thankful throughout this journey. I know that it could be worse. I have read other people’s Multiple Sclerosis journeys. I recently read this women’s where the doctors diagnosed her with Postpartum Psychosis. It took the psychologist to diagnose her with MS. What the hell? And this woman had had multiple MRIs and no one caught it. For years she dealt with paralysis and speech issues. But it was all in her head. Which literally it was. There was lesions on her brain from the episodes she had gone through. This was years ago but it is still happening today. Even though I am not a fan of medicine I do believe that it can assist with slowing down the progress. So to go years in and out of episodes without any medication can cause this disease to progress rapidly.
To go years without a proper diagnosis experiencing the signs and symptoms, the diagnosis can be a relief. Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that can affect so many areas of one’s life. My heart goes out to anyone who has it. Though I may not experience their particular struggles, I can empathize with their journey. In my day to day life, I don’t really talk about MS. I don’t believe that discussing it and making it a focal point serves me well. I am more focused on living a life that is full of light, laughter, adventures and possibilities. But if anyone has any questions, wants a better understanding or wants to discuss their own personal journey with Multiple Sclerosis, I am available. The door is not closed, it’s crack. And I will fling it open and welcome you in.
The world is in a crisis right now. There is a deadly virus on the loose and it is affecting so many people. I wish I had words to soothe but honestly I am terrible at that. I will just say if you fit the description of someone who is more likely to get the coronavirus, be careful and protect yourself. I don’t want anyone to live in fear but to live with caution. Please continue to be well and whole. Love you all.