Hi, my name is Shayla and I’m grateful to be given the opportunity to share with you all on what it’s like to have a parent with MS. Let’s see, I never really thought about it until now, everything happened so fast! It was 2007, I had just had my first child and a few months after my mother was diagnosed with MS. Now I was aware of MS due to my cousin having it, but I discovered real quick that this illness was different for everyone! My mother’s MS affected her mobility and pretty fast. The first year was rough. She was falling a lot, her legs would just give out, she couldn’t walk a short distance without having to sit down and give her legs a break. Nurses were coming to our house switching her medications left and right because nothing seemed to slow her progression down. She was hospitalized a few times due to relapsing and needing treatments. It was so overwhelming.
I’m the middle child of three, my sister had just moved out of state and my little brother was only 12 yrs old at the time. I knew I was going to have to step up and do whatever I needed to support our mom. I watched my mother continue to go to work an hour early every single day for years after, no call offs and never late. Some days were better than others but I seen the strength and fight in her to push through each day. And she also had wonderful co-workers to help her and that was aware of her illness.
But I also seen a lot of changes with my mom’s confidence, frustration, good days, bad days, etc. She was only going to work and coming home. Before having MS every Saturday morning my mom would cook breakfast, take us shopping, to the movies, etc. Whatever we wanted to do. She was hanging out with her friends, wearing heels, living life. All of that came to an end. I didn’t like seeing the person my mom was becoming. She was starting to let her MS take over and control her, I couldn’t let that happen!! I began encouraging, motivating and pushing my mom, letting her know that she could still live her life and do everything she wanted to do and more. Except wear her heels, I know, major bummer!!
Finally at the end of the first year going into the second year her progression began to slow down. We were back shopping at Target, going to the mall again, she was going over her friend’s houses again. All the fun stuff but with limitations which was expected, I was like okayyy MS who!
The first two years felt like forever. It was sad, scary and stressful, trying to find her the right medications that didn’t make her feel so crappy. She was so tired of poking herself with needles, wanting to give up. Something had to be done. So her co-workers and I decided to start a team for the MS Walk every year, I knew that would put my mom head above water again and it did. My mom having MS was definitely a lot to deal with, especially feeling like I was the only one who was there trying to understand, stay positive with what was going on or what needed to be done on top of trying to have fun with my friends and being a new mom. But we got through it all and I never felt like I was being held back from living my life. I think I balanced it all pretty well.
This year will make it 14 years of my mom having MS and lets just say the roles have really reversed. I’m the mom now. I love it and she hates it lol. She no longer likes to drive so she doesnt anymore. She has broken both her ankles on two different occasions and not MS related, like wth lol!! She’s my fragile baby in my eyes, I freak out when she has a common cold these days. I don’t like it. Last year I moved to Georgia and I remember my mom saying she wasn’t moving down here…lol. Okay lady whatever you say. With that being said she’s moving here in May. See told ya I’m her mom now! I have to physically see her because she will tell me she is doing great but will be at home struggling around the house trying to do things, so I need her here close to me. She’s still very much independent and I am absolutely grateful for that but sometimes she overdo it. I love my mom to death and will continue to take care of her and keep her happy as much as possible. She’s my forever best friend!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and special thanks to my Ebby Poo for allowing me to share! Hugs & Kisses