I feel like our parents wasn’t specific enough when we were kids about adulthood. They would say things like, “Enjoy being a kid while you can.” “Don’t rush to grow up.” Yeah, we needed more details. This adult shit is not cool. I mean we couldn’t have avoided it, yet we could have been, I don’t know, a lot more reluctant to embrace it. Stayed at our parents house a little longer. Saved more money. Travel when we didn’t have real responsibilities. Planned better. Something dammit! But here we are, an adult till the day we die. Just in the world, lost as fuck 😂.
Okay, I know everyone doesn’t feel this way, but I’m sure it is a good amount of people who do. I have spent so much time lately being introspective about my life. Where I have been, where I am and where I want to be. I can’t say I am happy about any of it. Okay, that is not true, I have had some great moments in this long life. Yet, I feel like if I had taken a left instead of a right here and there, I could have had more great moments. Who knows where I would be. Maybe exactly where I am right now or not. Looking back, I definitely would have been more open to experiencing life in other places and meeting all types of people. I probably would have been either a hoe or a virgin 🤷🏾♀️😂.
There is a song I have been obsessed with called Beautiful Things by Benson Boone. I mean I played the fuck out of that song. Maybe not as much as Workin’ on Lovin’ by Juice, which Spotify was so kind to tell me 😂.
Anyway, there is a part in the song where he says, “And I think I might have it all.” Have you ever felt that way? As I look back on my life, I can’t think of a time when all areas of my life was in alignment. When I felt like it was too good to be true or I was afraid that it wouldn’t last. I’m not upset about it. I just know I want that. I want that level of contentment. To look at my life and say, “Damn this is what I wanted. I’m living in the moment I prayed for.” I do believe that it is still possible. I just have no clue of when it is going to happen.
I have spent way too much time in my thoughts and not writing them down. The more I tell myself I need to write, the less I have the desire to write. I don’t know what is going on, but I know I need to get it together y’all. I hope this posts finds you well and whole. Much love to you all 🧡💚
Here is the songs I mentioned in the post. Maybe you will enjoy them as well.