Isn’t it crazy how you meet someone and you care how their days go, what they did, what they ate, who they saw. It is like you want to be with them and see them every day. And then you look up and one day, you don’t. You don’t want to speak to them. You don’t answer their call or respond to their text. Sometimes the other person feels the same way that you do. They were only texting because they did not want to be the one to end the relationship. They may have a hard time with confrontation. Other times, that person is devastated. They are wondering what they said or did. Why don’t you like them anymore? They may start to develop insecurities. They are changed because they really cared and you are heartless with the way you are handling the end of the relationship. Ugh…it all sucks no matter what side you are on. But I will say it is better to be the dumper than the person getting dumped. Y’all know this is true.
I have just started dating again. I have been single for 2 years. I have also decided that I hate dating. I now know why people stay in unhappy relationships. My first foray back into dating started with dating sites. I did the free ones, Tinder and Bumble. No to both of those. I deleted them after a few days. I then joined Match. I didn’t want to pay at first because I’m cheap. But you can’t see who is interested in you unless you pay. So they ran a special with half off and I committed to 3 months. Once I was able to see the 19 guys that were interested in me, I wanted my money back. Unfortunately, that wasn’t happening. I proceeded to making sure that the 3 month membership I had just signed up for did not renew under any circumstances. Lol. I have seen guys that were interesting, but not as many options as I thought I was going to have. My 3 months ended at the beginning of this month and I did not go on a single date with any guy from Match. Now I must acknowledge the fact that I am shallow so that would change how I look at things. I am constantly trying to put aside this part of myself and even liked a few guys profiles. I am not sure if this is bad or not, but if they responded with the pre-written text that Match created, I wasn’t responding back. Come on! Just say hi. It is simple and effective. This one guy used the text that said something about going to a concert. Uh…no. I don’t know you to be going somewhere that I can come up missing easily. I’m good.
Now onto dating people off the internet. I met a guy through a friend of a friend. We will give him a fake name, Cosmo. Lol. I actually like this name for real. Cosmo was funny and had a great personality. I did not find him physically attractive but there was just something about him. We exchanged numbers and had stimulating phone conversations. We went bowling which Cosmo won (booo) and had some dinner at his place. Normally I would not have went to a guy’s house on the first date, but I didn’t feel any bad vibes. After the date, I really felt like it was the end. I just knew that he was going to let me fall by the wayside. And I was cool with that. No chemistry. Lo and behold, Cosmo still called and text me. Now we have set a second date. We played miniature golf which I won (hell yeah!) and went back to his place and watched T.V. Now after this date, I have never heard from him again. Lol. I have fun with it by saying that Cosmo was mad because I beat him at mini golf. The reality is he stopped talking to me because I didn’t have sex with him.
So, what the hell is going on with dating? Are we expected to be fucking after a couple of dates? Can shit just evolve naturally? What happened to kissing? Maybe a little messing around? Checking his penis size to even see if you want to go there? š¤ (I don’t know what this emoji means but for now it means shyly feeling him out) ššš Like I’m a little old-fashioned. I just want to take my time and get to know a guy. If the only thing he wants is sex, just tell me upfront. That way if I don’t agree, we just dropped it and not waste each other’s time. Or if the feeling is mutual, we can take it from there. But at this age, don’t try to run game and think my old ass is going to fall for it. Heard it all before, seriously! What I would like to see is sincerity and honesty. Can y’all do that?
So is anyone out here in the same boat as me? Hopelessly trying to move down a river that is constantly at low tide. Have you tried any dating websites? Met anyone interesting or have a great love story to tell? I would love to hear it. Please share! Or if you have a bad date story, I would like to hear that as well. It is slim pickings out here. That leaves me with just believing in God. Knowing that he will provide what I need when the time is right. But I may break a couple of rules along the way. They are made to be broken right š? Now for you all, don’t be like me, be well and whole.