Category: Uncategorized

I find myself thinking and overthinking when it comes to posting on my blog. Sometimes I know what I want to say but I don’t have the words to say it. Other times, I know what I want to say but the way that I want to say it may rub some people the wrong way. The latter bothers me the most. Reason being, when I decided to write this blog I said that I wanted to be me. Me as in, I want to say things that the younger, feistier me would. I don’t want to think and rethink what I have to say, my comments, opinions or my thoughts. I just want to say it.

Since I have set a goal to reach more people by advertising my blog on Facebook and LinkedIn, I decided now is the time to post this. I still have not figured out who is my target audience. Probably something I should have done before I started a blog. I hesitate with handing out my business cards because I’m not sure who would be interested in my blog. I don’t want just women to read it but I’m not sure if men will feel it is value added to their life. Even though, I feel anyone can relate to some of the things that I write. I definitely don’t want anyone under the age of 18 peeking on my blog, even if they can relate.

One thing that I’ve noticed lately is that people are too damn sensitive. Any time someone says something, somebody has to get offended. Now for me personally most things don’t offend me because I realize that person isn’t talking to me. If you know who you are, what your limitations are and you are happy with yourself what people say should not offend you. For example, I was reading an Instagram post by a girl who works for the WWE Wrestling Federation or whatever. To paraphrase her, she said everybody can be healthy, work out and do what is necessary to get the type of body that they would like. Now I know that I’m limited so in no way, shape or form did what she say offend me. Why you ask? Because she wasn’t fucking talking to me. So for the person that commented on there saying that everybody cannot do that because of physical limitations, why the hell are you offended? She wasn’t talking to you. Take a chill pill as they used to say back in the day and calm the fuck down.

So to add to this and part of my point is, I’m probably going to say things that offend you. First off, the one thing that may offend someone is my use of cuss words. I cuss a lot. Most people don’t know that. But if you really know me, you know that. I don’t plan on being overly offensive with cuss words on purpose but I know that in this blog I will use cuss words. That may be to say this is not for you. And I understand that. What I would not understand is someone leaving comments reprimanding me for cussing. If you don’t like it just don’t read it. There may be countless other ways and other things I do that may be offensive. I’m not doing it on purpose or to be mean, but what I am doing is being me. And I love me. I’m comfortable with me at this point in my life. That’s why I decided to do this blog right now. So if I do offend you, know that it was in no way on purpose or in a mean way. I’m just stating my opinion on a topic. If you decide to no longer read my blog, I understand.

I of course want to grow my audience and have people commenting on my posts. I always want to touch people. If you do realize that my blog isn’t for you, share my site with someone that it may be for. I am not everybody’s cup of tea but I’m somebody’s. As always, feel free to leave a comment. I will respond. Or you can email me at elsims27@yahoo.com.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I don’t like taking pictures so let’s say I “hate” Instagram and Snapchat because that is the main aspect of their apps. I “love” Instagram because I like the funny memes and videos and Pam the bulldog. If you don’t know who Pam is, look her up on Instagram. One of the most awesome dogs in the world. I have Instagram but I have never posted anything on my account. No Snapchat period. No to Twitter as well. For one, I don’t think that you can limit this motormouth to just 140 characters. Hell, I started a blog to be able to talk endlessly. Two, would not ever join now that the current president is making a mockery out of the site. He is uncool so it makes Twitter seem uncool now. I have a LinkedIn account that doesn’t even have a picture of me.

Now to Facebook. Okay, this relationship is complicated. I have family and friends on Facebook that do not live near me. Facebook affords me the opportunity to see pictures and know what’s going on in their lives without me having to talk to them. I love and care about them but at the same time, I’m anti-social. As is most people, so don’t judged me. Lol. I like to watch videos and read uplifting, touching stories. Facebook allows me to do this all in one place without having to comb the internet. And with all the permissions you allow them just to have an account, they know what you like and give you suggestions of videos to watch. Win/lose situation. Also, this is where I see most of my news and current events. This makes me what to learn and do my own research about what is really going on.

Now to the hate. Facebook also is a place to display pics which I hate so, strike one. People put too much of their business on Facebook and get mad when others say something negative. Really?!?, strike two. Once you actually post something, you have to be available to respond if anyone makes a comment. Even though I am anti-social, I’m not mean. Ok maybe just a little. But I don’t want to ignore people’s comments, so I have to keep checking and respond in a timely manner. Yes, I know I can get notifications when people make a comment and that would reduce the checking. Except I hate receiving notifications all day, strike three. Since we struck out, here is a couple of balls. Once you comment on someone’s post, every time someone else does you have the privilege of knowing, ball one. People know when you are on Facebook and want to have side conversations with you. Noooooo, I just want to watch my videos and read my stories. Or play games. I don’t want to talk, ball two. Sherry, I don’t ever mind your side conversations though. Messenger, totally unnecessary. Yet I have not been able to bring myself to delete it. This is how I send my mom the funny or touching stories and videos.

Social media as a whole is a time waster. We spend countless hours watching videos, reading other people’s business or posting our own business. We spend time taking picture after picture just to get the right one as our profile pic. Don’t act like it’s just me. We waste so much time without even realizing it. Sometimes I just think of the other things I could be doing or could have done. Then I think about losing the flimsy connection that I have with my friends and family. What is a girl to do?

I do believe that social media has its place. For people with their own business it is a great way to advertise. Inform people of events, sales and new projects. As artist, you can display your work. Singers can go live and give people a concert which can help sell albums. And it’s basically free. Now that is a win/win. Also, with sites like LinkedIn, you can network and gain new business connections. You can post your resume and get scouted for jobs or look for jobs yourself. Some people have started businesses or their own brand using social media. Funny videos, which I watch, have made people famous and given them opportunities to display their talents on a larger scale. It does have it’s purpose.

I guess I am going to have to parent myself. Parents put restrictions on kids as far as playing with gaming systems and watching tv. I need to put restrictions on myself about visiting social media sites. Maybe something like 30 minutes to one hour a day. I’m going to give this a try starting Monday. I am not sure which site I waste more time on, but I am going to delete Instagram. I’ll miss Pam, but I don’t post anything and I use it solely as a time waster. Facebook, I won’t delete, but I will pull the plug on Messenger. And now that I am posting regularly, finally, I’ll use Facebook and LinkedIn as sites to advertise my blog. Once I stop wasting time maybe I can actually post more and by sharing on social media, I can really grow my audience. Now that is a win/win!

How do you feel about social media? Would you give it up? What would you do with all the free time? Please share your comments in the box or email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. If this is the first post you have read, to make a comment, click on the title and it will be a box at the end of my post.

I hate to cry. I don’t know if I have said this in one of my post before, but I can’t say it enough. I HATE TO CRY!  It gives me a headache. It makes me look ugly. And I believe that nothing is solved by it. The thing that I was crying about is still an issue when I’m done crying, so why bother. Now I look jacked up, got a headache and I feel like a crybaby. I don’t even like to cry when I am by myself. The only time crying is acceptable to me is when I’m angry, I’m happy, I see something really touching or when someone dies. I have issues, I know.

I am in this process of evalutating myself and continuing to grow up to be a better human being. To find what my purpose is and to serve in my purpose. God put me here for a reason and I am desperate to know what that is. I have been watching sermons, Ted talks and anything that I feel may spark a fire. One sermon I watched recently I can’t stop thinking about. Sarah Jakes Roberts and her husband Pastor Toure Roberts had a chat about love and soul mates. The one thing that kept sticking out to me was Sarah saying that she had to be vulnerable. Vulnerable with Pastor Toure so that he could fulfill his purpose as her husband. The light bulb came on.

I don’t know how to be vulnerable. Please don’t be offended, this pertains to me only. I think vulnerability is a weakness. I believe that it allows people to take advantage of me. The only time that I can remember being vulnerable with anyone was with my first love. I didn’t know any better. Lol. I didn’t know to hold anything back. I dived face first into love and came out hurt, restricted and scarred. Scars that I obviously still have to this day. (Side note, I don’t hold anything against him. We were kids. I know I did my fair share of hurting him and generally being an asshole to him.) The one thing that I did learn is not to be vulnerable because I did not want to feel pain like that again.

So here I am, old as hell, finally facing myself and saying something ain’t right here. How would I have the ability to love someone and allow someone to love me  without transparency and vulnerability? I think that is impossible. There is One that can make the impossible possible, God. Please don’t judge me at this point, but I am not even vulnerable in my private time with God. I know, I know. Now back to crying. I will even fight crying in my private time with the one true healer because I hate it so much. I’m probably telling you people too much about me right now. Seriously. Anyways, like I said I’m evaluating. I realize that if I can’t even be vulnerable with myself and God, how can I be vulnerable with anyone else? Duh!!!

Now that I have had this epiphany, I feel suddenly more emotional. And of course I don’t like it AT ALL! The difference is I’m not going to fight it. I’m not going to stop the tears, unless I’m on my way to work. Ok a whole day of ugly, work with me here people. I am going to pray, talk to God and cry if that is needed for my breakthrough. I am going to allow people into my restricted places. I am going to be vulnerable. If you haven’t realized it at this point, I have already started by sharing this with you.

What is a struggle for you? What do you see as a weakness?  What was an epiphany that changed your life? I don’t expect any comments on here. Lol. But if you want to talk about it privately, please feel free to email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. No judgments, just love and acceptance if you want to talk. Remember to make a comment, click on the title and it will have a comment box at the end of the post.