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I have a new favorite obsession. Verizon has a rewards program called Verizon Up. With each bill that you pay it accumulates to receive a credit. Each month they offer different things for you to use your credit on. One month I used my credit on a free book from Audible. Audible is Amazon’s audio book division. The book that I purchase from Audible was “The Last Black Unicorn” by Tiffany Haddish. I really enjoyed that book. Tiffany read the book herself and that made it a great listen. I knew then that I wanted everyone’s book about their life to be read by the author and I wanted a subscription to Audible. But I am cheap and I have enough subscriptions that I pay on monthly. I have Netflix, Hulu (pretty much for Futurama only) and Amazon Music. Oh and Match.com. Not touching that on this post but I will talk about that soon. That shit gets pricey. So I hesitated and waited and then, I finally gave in. Audible was offering two free books with a subscription. I already knew what book I wanted, “We Are Going to Need More Wine” by Gabrielle Union. I was indecisive about the second free book. Still haven’t used that credit yet.

Now Gabrielle Union’s book was all that I expected and more. She laid herself bare and I envy her vulnerability. I can’t imagine sharing so much of myself with millions of people. She did that. I don’t want to talk about it too much because it is a book I recommend that you read. I don’t want to spoil this awesome read/listen for anyone. There was so many takeaways from the book, but I am only going to touch on one in this post. It really spoke to me and got me to thinking after I listened to this part of the book. An individual at some point in Gabrielle Union’s life asked her to name things that made her happy. She didn’t do so well. She was only able to list a few things. And when asked again the same question, she was still stuck on those first few items that she had come up with. I felt bad for her. It seemed like an easy task. I just knew that I could do it.

When I say that this was an extremely hard exercise to complete. I have not even completed it yet. Lol. Gabrielle I feel your pain girl! I just assumed I would find ten things because there is so much that I like. But the reality is that I can’t say that everything I like makes me genuinely happy. I am sure we all have our definition of happiness. My definition is more along the lines of something or someone who brightens my day when I do it, I am near it or I receive it. The feeling could last all day or be momentary. I just know that I want that thing or person to continuing being a part of my life. And if it or them are not, I am not sure if I would consider my life to be a good one. Here is my list so far. I will updated this post periodically based on my realizations.

1. God. I think this is self-explanatory.
2. Water, large bodies that I can sit and look out on. A serious sense of peace comes over me when I am near water. To the point that I have made the decision that I will own a house on the water at some point in time in my life. To wake up the morning and have a nice, hot cup of coffee as I sit out on the water. Heaven on Earth!
3. Sunsets. I love all the colors .Orange, red, purple, yellow. Beautiful. Sunrise is nice too, but not as heart warming.
4. Speeding. I know this may seem like a crazy thing to make one happy but it does. I am actually unhappy when I have to drive the speed limits.
5. Coffee. I can go a day or two without it. I have even gone a month without coffee. If someone said I could never have it again, I may not be responsible for my behavior. Just saying.
6. Books. They can be audio books, e-books, paperbacks or hardcovers. I really don’t care, I need them in my life. If I start a good book, I will stay up all night to finish it.
7. Music. I don’t really have a preference. It is whatever I hear and what makes me feel good. Y’all know the saying, “Music has charms to soothe the savage beast.” Me, beast. Music, the answer.
8. Family and friends. I didn’t separate these because my friends are like my family. They both are my support systems and the people who love and accept little old me for who I am. They may tell me about myself, but they won’t leave me because I have not changed yet or ever.
9. …..
10. …..

So this is where I stand right now with this list. I am sure if I put my mind to it, I can fill in the last two spots, My mind is overloaded right now. I need to dump some things out of it. Lol. I have never considered coming up with this kind of list. It was an interesting experiment. Can you list 10 things? Can you list 5, 3? Was it easy or hard? I just want you to be happy. The best way to be happy is to know what makes you happy. Will you take time to make sure at least one of your ten things are a part of your life every day? Happy people are essential to this world. We need your happiness. Find it, live in it and be well and whole.

We women have a problem. Especially black women. We feel that if we rejoice in our perfectly imperfect selves that it can be perceived as conceited, arrogant or prideful. After having a conversation with my mom about a shirt she purchased, I feel that I had to acknowledge this issue. The shirt had a woman with an afro and the word Flawless. I was like that sounds cute. She agreed but was hesitant to wear the shirt because she said as a woman of God, she does not want to be perceived as arrogant. What!?! Just from wearing a shirt? She continues saying that as Christians, we should be humble and a light for God. We SHOULD be humble and a light for God to show others the true meaning of Christianity. Does that also mean we should not acknowledge and rejoice in the person that God has created us to be? I am sorry Mom, I don’t think that the two are related. Of course, I shared my opinion with her on this topic.

This conversation with my mother has continued to come up in my mind over the last few days. I am disturbed by it. I am a little angry about it as well. I wonder how many women are walking around, for various reasons, not celebrating themselves. Not having the self-esteem or the self-confidence to know that they are awesome. That no matter what the media portrays or society says, they are beautiful just the way God created them. What the hell is wrong with us? Men will walk around all day, every day feeling like they are the shit. That they are worthy of having two or more women at a time and we should be happy to have them. Not bashing, but y’all know this is true. And we women, are out here with low self-esteem thinking we can’t do the same! Lol. Ok just kidding about that. Seriously though, we are worthy of whatever our hearts desire. We are worthy of being called beautiful and we can humbly reply with a Thank You. We can feel flawless with our hair in an afro or any other natural style. Or feel flawless with our hair straighten or with a weave. Who the hell makes up these rules? And why are we following them blindly?

Remember when our big lips and our big butts (I know I don’t have one, lol) were looked down upon. Now these are features being celebrated. What is going to happen when these same features are no longer “acceptable”? We should have always been accepting and loving these things about ourselves. And we should continue to love them when they are no longer in style. It is time to stop allowing others to determine our self-worth. What is flawless, what is beautiful, what is acceptable. To know that if you are happy with little breasts, flat ass, thin lips or any other features that are frowned upon, you are doing great. To not just accept these things, but to love them is not arrogant. To wear a shirt that says Flawless and has an afro on it is not prideful. To know my self-worth and demand to be treated on a level that is congruent with my value is not conceited. To ask me to accept anything less is disrespectful.

I have a shirt that I purchased from my fave store, Target, that says “Know Your Worth”. If I could wear it every day I would. Hell if they made it in different colors I would purchase one for every day of the week. I am here for the revolution of women. For us, holding our heads up and straighten our backs, demanding what we want from the world. God has deemed us worthy. He has created us to bring life into this world, to stand beside our significant others, to learn and master many types of skills to further this world. We are resilient and powerful. We are made beautiful by God’s design. Intelligent and wise. Loving and forgiving. Deserving of love, acceptance, praise, respect, consideration and everything else that our hearts desire and our minds can imagine. It is time that women start to realize these things. Humbly walk in God’s light with the self-confidence that he made YOU in his image. Be well and whole.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

I do love driving, on the expressway that is, but today I would have loved to be a passenger. I just wanted to ride and enjoy the breeze and listen to the music. Didn’t happen though. I drove myself to my favorite spot. It is the day before they are having their hugely popular, free jazz festival. People are camped out with their tents set up. They came in RVs.

I have never attended the festival but I have heard that it is great. The first part that would make it great is that it’s free. Lol. Also, I have seen the line up and it seems like it will be entertaining. Last, but not least, it is on the water. What more could you ask for? One downside, portable potties. Ugh! I know they have made them pretty extravagant lately, but these are not 😂😂😂.

Unfortunately, I am not going to attend this year either. I have decided I need to make new friends. Some with one of these campers so that I can camp out and hide in one when the sun gets to be too much. It is forecasted to be in the 90s the next couple of days. Hot 🔥. Also, I am social awkward and not a fan of crowds. Here is some information for anyone who didn’t know about the jazz festival and is thinking about joining the fun.

I am currently having a love affair with a park. I don’t feel complete unless I go there at least once a week. I soak up the views and my hair soaks up the moisture in the air. Got a nice surprise when I looked in the mirror. My hair is pretty interesting right now. I people watched. I am fascinated by humans, even though I don’t like them very much. I watch their interactions with each other. Their mannerisms. I saw a hot guy with his Siberian husky which was even cuter than him. I watched a little girl chase after this ultra friendly groundhog as she screamed with delight. I took a picture of this lone duck.

Can’t recall the last time I’ve seen a duck all by itself. I felt a kinship with this singular animal. I wondered if it was lonely? I observed people setting up their chairs already for tomorrow’s festivities. I almost fell over walking back to my car because I was a little unstable walking up a hill. I wondered if anyone would have helped me up if I had fallen.

At this point I am back at my car. It’s dark and I have to go to the restroom, but I’ll be damned if I use one of those portable potties. Lol. As I leave the park I drive 15 mph because it is the speed limit, but also because I am fascinated by all of the campers and RVs populating the park. I make it to a Speedway that provided the mirror which allowed me to see the disaster which is my hair. I purchase a couple of lottery tickets and get back in the car to head home. I would really like to drive to Detroit because it is a great night. Then I think about the pain in the ass detour that I will have to take to get home and I turn left onto 75 south. No thanks. The sky is kind of clear and I can see a few stars sparkling in the sky. The sun is down but I can see the streaks of color right above the tree line. I am having a great drive. My music is on and car cruising at 75 mph.

At this point y’all are probably like so! I know it sounds mundane and unexciting. It may be that way for most people. For me, it was a perfect end to a day. I enjoyed the world that God created. I appreciated its beauty and serenity. I allowed my mind to relax and observed my surroundings. I even giggled at a car full of white boys hooting and hollering at me. I played peek-a-boo with the little girl in the car next to me. What makes you feel this way? Where is your place of peace? How long has it been since you went there? I hope it has been within the last week. Don’t push yourself to the point of burning out. Whatever it is that you need to restore your peace, make it a priority to do.

I am on this kick right now about self-love. Each day I realize how important it is for us to love ourselves. To make ourselves a priority. To not get lost or bogged down with matters that may or may not concern us. I know I am probably getting on y’all nerves with this, but I listened to a Quote of the Day show featuring Lisa Nichols that spoke to this. I loved it so much that I downloaded it. I have listened to it repeatedly. It is episode 326 titled, “The Greatest Love You Can Ever Give the World is a Demonstration of What Loving You Looks Like “. Check it out. With all matters in life, be well and whole. You own it to yourself. And no it is not selfish, it is preservation.