Uncategorized – Page 53 – Ebony on Everything

August 7, 2019August 7, 2019

I Quit!

I am smiling because I just got these sunglasses back. I had left them at the barbershop.

I quit y’all. I quit at this life. And I am not talking suicide. But I am talking about trying to do things my way. Trying to make things work that should be released with love and appreciation for the time that was spent. I quit listening to others advice and words of wisdom. Though these individuals may mean well, the results do not always turn out so well. I quit trying to even make these decisions for myself. I am terrible at making big decisions. I will sit on it, going back and forth, back and forth repeatedly in regards to my options. At times I will even make the decision only to question myself and never follow through. Why??? Why is it so hard to make decisions?

Today I listened to the Quote of the Day show by Sean Croxton. The speaker, Charlie Day, was talking about doing away with a plan b. That if you allow plan A to be your only option, then a person can follow it through and focus on the plan. Here is the link to that episode. It is a great listen.

http://seancroxton.com/quote-of-the-day/708/

Ok, think I may have my answer right here. I allow for too many options to be available to me. With that it would be hard to make a decision. Charlie went on to explain times that big life changing decisions had to be made and how he negated the fall back option. I know that I am always thinking “Well if this doesn’t work, I can…” Well it looks like that is not the way to approach this here life. At this point, it has never worked for me. Lol.

Just recently I had to make a really big decision. When I tell you I was all over the place, I cannot stress it enough. Now I own my own home. My house is a little old and things are starting to get really bad. I wanted to move back into the house. There is an issue with the main pipe line due to the extremely winter. The cost unknown but I am sure it is not insignificant. What do I do? Mind you there are other things that are vying for attention as well. Do I focus on getting all this crap fixed, sale it and get pennies or move into an apartment where I am not responsible for all this extra crap? The decision was not a minor one. I know there were other options and they played over in my mind as well. These three were just the major choices. I just couldn’t decide but the whole time getting even more stressed about the situation. One morning I woke and looked in the mirror and said, “Make a decision right now.” And I did. I made the decision to move. Once that decision was made I just took a deep breath followed by a sigh of relief. “I did it, I did it” was what went through my mind. I felt soooooo much better, instantly. As the day went on I just felt lighter and lighter. And as the week has progressed, I continue to feel such a sense of relief.

Now I had been praying about this issue, but not really allowing the voice of God to speak to me. As I said earlier in the post, I quit. The quitting was to step back and allow God room to operate in my life. To hear his voice and receive his guidance. The last few weeks, I kept saying “God I quit” but not really doing it. That morning when I looked in the mirror and made a decision, it wasn’t really mines, it was God’s. It had been the thought that kept coming to the forefront the most but I was pushing it back. Allowing other plans/options to distract me. That day I quit. Now I can’t say that I will not fall back into bad habits and try to make decisions for myself. I’m a stubborn, hardheaded little fucker. I just have to learn how to lean on God more. To take even my small problems to him then maybe they won’t become big life changing ones. Sheesh. Why? I don’t know why I am so obtuse but I am constantly working on me. By choice and by chance.

Please tell me I am not alone. Lol. Somebody, anybody? Ok, whatever. Keep your secrets. But just in case you want to share them, I’m here. As you can see I have no right or room to judge. I do have an ear and an empathetic heart. My email is elsims27@yahoo.com or for the oh so brave souls, you can leave a comment below. Just know I am not the only one who will see it. Until next we meet, be well and whole.

August 1, 2019September 22, 2020

Ebony, Can I Tell You Something?

I seen this post on Instagram on NaturallyCurly’s page. Of course my cheesy self was immediately pulled in. I wanted to think of my own response before I read other people’s responses. I thought of one, which I will get to in a little bit. Then as the day went on, I thought of a few more two word responses to the question. I realize I would tell younger me so much. I would provide her with love, wisdom, and encouragement that would have allowed for so many more experiences. Here are my various 2 words of advice with additional explanantion.

Live Free

This is the two words that came to mind first. Just recently I realized that I have placed a lot of restrictions on myself. I believe that these restrictions have hindered me from living my life to the fullest. When I was younger I wanted to move to New York. Younger me, fucking move to New York. You have no kids and you are unmarried. This is the time to live your life. Do shit that you want but may not make any sense. There is nothing you can’t do. You are worthy and deserving of the best that life has to offer. Never doubt it or yourself! Shake loose others expectations. Explore the possibilities. Live free. What do YOU really want?

Shine Bright

No doubt about it I have a pretty strong personality. There have been times when I have toned myself down because people didn’t have it within themselves to be able to accept me. Or in relationships, as to not start an argument. Baby girl, do not dim your light. You have no idea how important this is. The people who love you and that will love you are exactly the people who are meant to. If someone doesn’t accept you as you are, changing the best parts of you is not the answer. Moving on is. You will always have room for growth and change. Do it, but don’t compromise who you are to be loved and accepted. The light that you give off will draw the right people to you. It will brighten someone’s day. It will make people feel loved and accepted. It will influence others in a positive way. You have no idea how powerful you are. Shine bright 🌞 beautiful! The world needs YOU!

Forgive, Forget

I don’t hold grudges against other people, but I do against myself. I replay mistakes I have made over and over again in my head. I beat myself up about what I should have done or should have said. I want younger me to evaluate the mistakes, process the lessons learned and move on. Why dwell on past mistakes? There is nothing that you can do to change them. You are perfectly imperfect and I love you as you are 🥰.

Right Now

If there is one thing we don’t know, it is when we are going to die. We take it for granted that we will have an opportunity to do tomorrow what we didn’t do today. Who really knows how and when this life is going to change? That is why young Ebony, it is important that you walk in the park and enjoy the scenery. To go to the Elks on Sunday evenings and ballroom until you are dizzy. Have more sex (yeah I said it). Take more trips by yourself. Go skating on Wednesdays at Ohio Skate. Kiss the one guy smack dab on the lips(you know who I’m talking about). Make a bucket list and check off as many as you can. Do the unexpected. Speak your mind. Wear heels even with sweat pants 😂😂😂. Ok just joking on this one. I probably would have worn all my favorite heels more often though. All you have Ebony is right now. Make it count!

What 2 words of advice would you give your younger self? Or would you give her/him any at all? I love things that make me think. Questions that makes me evaluate my life, my decisions, my mistakes. There are some people who feel they would not do anything differently if they were given the opportunity. I did end up reading the responses and of course some were the same as mine. They were pretty good responses especially when the person elaborated as to why they would say those 2 words. I will not die with regrets, but I would definitely do things differently. I would live free, shine bright, forgive & forget and focus on the right now. And so many other things, dammit! The most important lesson to take from this is that I can still do these things. It is never too late to live free, shine bright, forgive & forget and live in the right now. Present Ebony, what are you waiting on?

Drop your 2 word advice in the comment section. And take that advice to yourself to heart. Be well and whole 😘.

July 9, 2019

Kentucky Y’all

These birthday trip posts are so sporadic. Smh. I have to get them all in though before I take my next birthday trip which is coming soon. Lol. This year I have already started to plan it out. Since I truly didn’t have any real plans when I went down south for my birthday trip last year. The only thing I did plan was to stop in Cincinnati, OH. to visit Rashanna. We sat down and had a great dinner and conversation at Mimi’s Place, a nice local restaurant. A couple of mimosas as well. I think we may have closed the place down. Lol. Upon leaving Cincinnati, I crossed the state line into Kentucky and grabbed a room at the Red Roof Inn. Nicely renovated. Here I experienced the first of a couple falls. Not paying attention that there was a ledge to get into my room, I entered in backwards and tripped into the room. Down I went with luggage, food and a head bump on the desk. Yeah, not pleasant. I was able to laugh at it later. I only stayed there one night. Not because I bumped my head. I was ready to continue the rest of my trip. When I left I still didn’t know exactly where I was heading.

I stopped for breakfast at IHOP. I love their New York Cheesecake pancakes and their veggie omelet. I kept it moving from there. I just enjoyed riding down the expressway going actually close to the speed limit. Not feeling rushed, loving the colors. I considered going to The Ark. Once I looked at the price for the attraction and the price for parking I had to take that off the table. It was not included in my budget. Lol. I kept on riding past. I just stayed on the street but the scenery was boring. Now how the hell do I get back to the expressway? Google had me doing some crazy shit. On these backroads that were narrow as hell and kinda raggedy. I did catch this pic.

The cow is looking at me like “What heffa” lol

Once I found my way back to the expressway, I thought of a place that would fit in my budget. Cumberland Falls which so happened to be free. Perfect! I had been wanting to go for a little while. When I say these pictures I am going to share with you does not do it any justice. It was rainy and the sky was gloomy but it was such a beautiful and serene atmosphere. I was able to see all of my fall colors on display.

The first sight I seen upon parking. I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of it.

This pic used to be my screen saver. No one believed I took this pic. Lol.

Since it was rainy the stairs were a little slippery. Didn’t fall here though.

Now I did see a sign about wildlife that was a little unsettling. Lol. I was in their territory but I still didn’t want any encounters. I made it through without seeing any bears, snakes or any other dangerous animal. Phew. It wasn’t as if I could run or anything.

Upon leaving the park, I was ready to find a hotel close to Louisville. I thought that would be a great city to explore. I will cover this and more about Kentucky in the next post. Be well and whole.