Samantha Vanderman, Part 1

Hi! My name is Sam and I am so grateful to Ebony for the opportunity to share my journey with Multiple Sclerosis for MS Awareness month. Thank you so much!! 

A little bit about me before I jump into my MS story. I grew up near Cleveland, OH, but moved to NC 13 years ago after graduating college and never looked back! Currently, I live in Hillsborough, NC on 10 acres and am (slowly) building a sustainable homestead with my husband and two feisty felines. I love gardening and being outside. If I am not playing in the dirt, I am managing a small cycling, strength training and yoga studio in Durham called Intent FitHouse. Strength training and maintaining a healthy, balanced lifestyle are huge parts of my life and I truly feel that those two things help keep me sane, especially over the last year. 🙂 

I am so excited to be able to write about MS and lessons I have learned over the years. With that said, on to my diagnosis story…

In 2005 I was a sophomore at The Ohio State University. It was my first year living alone and I had spent most of Fall Quarter studying and hanging out with friends. Life was good.

Then, out of nowhere, I woke up one morning seeing double, my face was numb on the left side, and my legs were weak and uncoordinated. I had no hand coordination in my dominant (right) hand.  My friend came over to take me to the ER. 

Over the next 24 hours, I had countless tests done. My parents arrived in time to hear the doctor’s diagnosis – Multiple Sclerosis. 

I had no idea what MS was. My parents didn’t believe the doctor and wanted to get home immediately. The doctor advised staying at the hospital. I had no energy to go back and forth with my parents, so I did what they wanted and signed out against medical advice. 

Once home, we made an appointment with a local neurologist. They did more tests, including a spinal tap. At the appointment to hear test results, the neurologist confirmed that it was Multiple Sclerosis. I looked over to my mom. She had burst into tears. My dad was trying to console her. They both were looking at me like my life was over. I was consumed by their reactions and suppressed my own.

In case you’re like me at the time and don’t know what MS is, it’s an autoimmune disease where your immune system is triggered and incorrectly attacks your brain and spinal cord. The attack causes inflammation which turns the insulated and healthy nerves into fried wires that can’t transmit info. For example, I’ve had inflammation in my optic nerve, which prevented the nerve from functioning properly and affected my eyesight. Inflammation can be treated with infusions of high doses of steroids, but there is no guarantee that normal functioning will fully return. It is unknown what parts of the brain and spinal cord the immune system will attack, so literally anything could be affected by MS. I have Relapsing Remitting MS, which means there are periods of remission and I can function with only my “normal” MS symptoms. Then there are periods of relapses, which is when the immune system is attacking your nervous system and causing damage to the nerves. There is no cure, but the goal of treatment is to minimize the amount of relapses in order to preserve one’s ability to function. 

After being diagnosed, I continued to ignore my emotions surrounding MS for another decade. During that time, every person I told had a different reaction to my diagnosis. While the reactions differed, one thing remained constant – I stayed preoccupied with how other people thought I should feel. I suppressed my own feelings on MS and I was confused and depressed because of it. I couldn’t continue to live this way.

About 5 years ago, MS was starting to affect my life more and I had to sort through the grief, fear and shame that came along with having a chronic disease. Once I did, everything felt aligned. After all those years of being distracted with other people’s emotions, I finally came to terms with the diagnosis and was not ashamed of MS anymore. I had a newfound trust and confidence in myself and my journey with this disease. It was only once I began listening to myself, that I was able to thrive despite the disease. 

Now, whenever I think about my MS diagnosis, I am reminded that it is important to always trust yourself. Whether it is a life altering situation like being diagnosed with a chronic disease or something small like deciding what to eat so you feel your best, YOU KNOW. You know how you feel. You know what is true to you. You can tell when something isn’t right. You already know, all you need to do is listen.

Different Year, Same Disease

It is officially Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Awareness Month. This year I wanted to do something different. Usually I talk about my life with MS and give some random facts about the disease and medications. This year I reached out to some people and ask for them to tell their MS story. We will have a couple of people with MS, a daughter whose mom has MS and a wife whose husband has MS. Then a couple of my friends talking about what it is like to put up with me 😆. I will keep looking for other people and other viewpoints throughout this month. I want to highlight as many stories as I can.
I am so excited for the stories that will be featured on this blog. I have not read any of them in advance. I tried to read one yesterday and I couldn’t. I started crying. My first featured fighter is Samantha Vanderman. I was introduced to Sam by her friend who is in the Quote of the Day book club with me. I had reached out to 2 MS Facebook groups that I am a part of, asking ladies to share their story. I literally did not get a single response. I told my Monday Mastermind group this and Meagan came to the rescue. Like they say, “It is not what you know, but who you know.” Sam contacted me and the rest will be featured on this blog.
I accepted a challenge last year to do something that makes me uncomfortable. At that time, talking about MS was one of the things that made me uncomfortable. Not necessarily uncomfortable anymore, but still not a topic of discussion that I bring up too often. I’m saying this to say, I love it as a topic of discussion when it shines a light on others. When it brings awareness, when it educates and when it makes people feel seen and heard. This is not about me. It is about me sharing my platform. It is about me reaching out and pulling someone else up into the spotlight. I am shining bright and I will never dull my light again because I got work to do. I am about to light everybody’s candle and we are going to set this world on fire.
My heart is so full. I am overcome with love and gratitude. Y’all have no idea what this means to me. I didn’t think I was going to be so emotional about it. Damn, this means I am going to look ugly all month. Face all puffy and shit 😄. But it is a good thing. It is a great thing! And I am happy that you all are here to take this journey with each of us. This Multiple Sclerosis Awareness month is about to be lit 🔥. Stay tuned. Stay well and whole. Much love 🧡💚
P.S. It is also Women’s History Month. GIRL POWER 💪🏾♀️
“Women make up more than half of the world’s population and potential. So it is neither just nor practical for their voices, for our voices, to go unheard at the highest levels of decision-making.” —Meghan Markle

Book 43, MS Awareness Fall Edition

*Quick update*
I reached my campaign goal on my crowdfunding page for my Alinker! I am so thankful to everyone who donated, shared my link and prayed for me. I couldn’t have done it without each and every one of you. Thank you so much. Now the team at Alinker will begin to create a bike just for me. It takes about 6 – 8 weeks before it is delivered. I will surely share pictures when it gets here and record my maiden voyage.

At 5:29 am on October 27, 1977, a little milk chocolate drop was born at Riverside Hospital in Toledo, Ohio. Twenty days past her original due date. According to her mom, she was dried out and hairy. Not cute at all. I believe I stayed in there the extra time to make sure I was born a Scorpio 🦂. Lol. It is my season and it has started off really well. Here it is, Book 43.

The morning of my birthday, I woke up early and prayed to God. I thanked Him for everything in my life up until this point. I thanked him for the blessings that are to come. I just talked to God. One thing I thought about as I talked was the decisions I have made with the free will He has allowed me to have. I have went left so many times on this path I’m not sure how many rights it will take me to get back on the original path. Or if at times along this journey I have cross corrected and I just need to make one more right. Just one more to get back on the correct path. Who knows?

When I was younger and I would see this picture of myself, I always felt like I was still in this moment. I had this weird feeling that I was dreaming my whole life out before I actually lived it. Honestly, I think I kinda stopped thinking this only about 8 – 10 years ago. Something in me still holds on to the idea a little bit. I think I am just so fascinated with the possibility of the idea. To this baby, my life is a quick nap in her carrier.

To this 43 year old woman, this is life in the matrix.

I love the saying, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience” by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. This saying allowed me to be so much more aware of what it means to live. I am experiencing life. And I get to decided if it will be a good experience or a bad one. I am determined to make my brief time here on this earth a good experience. How about you?

Though the majority of my goals were set on January 1st, I can say that a good portion of them have already been accomplished and that makes me happy. For once I am not feeling a lingering sadness at another year gone by. Wondering what have I done? And why I didn’t do more? I did some shit this year and I am proud of myself for it! I will continue to strive and reach as many of my other goals as possible before the end of the year and set new ones as I go. I won’t let MS or this pandemic stop me!

It was a great birthday. I spent time with my friends laughing, drinking and eating. Creating new memories to last a lifetime. I also received the best gift with the completion of my campaign. What a day! I look forward to the challenges and accomplishments this new book will bring. Book 42 may read more like a short story. Book 43 is going to be the size of our Britannica Encyclopedias from when I was a kid. Stay tuned. As always, be well and whole. Much love 🧡 💚