Category: Me

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Me, Pt. 4

Probably shouldn’t have used this picture. I look sneaky 😂😂😂.

 

I have so many half written blog post waiting to be completed, as usual. This one was the most completed one so thought I would share. As you all know, I’m a little crazy and the more I reveal about myself, the more likely you are to think I am totally crazy. Lol. I’m cool with that though. Enjoy!

  1. I very rarely wear matching bra and panty. I pretty much get up in the morning and whichever ones I grab, I wear. Now if I know that I am wearing something that requires a certain color or style, I will take the time to select underwear for that particular outfit. If you encounter me with matching bra and panty, bom chicka wah wah 😘.
  2. Don’t you dislike when you agree to do something or go somewhere and when the time comes you are no longer in the mood? That is me like 85% of the time. The good and  bad part is I am a person of my word, so if I agree to it, I am going to do it. The only way I usually back out is if I have a legitimately good reason. I am the one person that you don’t have to worry about standing you up. Now if you say that you don’t feel like going anymore, I will not try to convince you otherwise. I’m relieved.
  3. I don’t like to sit in a room that has windows and the blinds are not open. At my house I don’t really open the curtains/blinds though because I walk around with little to nothing on. I live in a neighborhood where people walking down the street can look in and I am not into voyeurism. Maybe I need windows that I can look out but people can’t see in. Ummm….
  4. I realized that I am the kind of person who once I make up my mind, it is extremely hard for me to deviate from that. My ex-boyfriend was my type. I mean physical, spiritual and work ethics as well. Same views on marriage. I just knew that since I was finally dating my type that this would be the person that I was going to marry. Well I am still single, never married. I am not bad mouthing him or talking about him in any way. I don’t think we were right for each other. We are still friends and spend time together occasionally. The issue is that I wanted him to be so bad that I was blind or ignored all the tell tale signs. I just kept holding on way past when I should have let go because I had made up my mind. He was it, the one. This thinking had me 7 years later finally accepting what was, that though he was cool, he was not going to be my husband. I have to work on this quality of absolutes. I know that I will miss out or delay what is meant for me because I can’t let go of what I want.
  5. I don’t like being told no, EVER!
  6. I do not like PDA. I am usually disgusted seeing people kissing all passionately in public. Yuck!!! Save that shit for home. Now a peck is ok. A little hand holding or hugging is alright as well. But sitting in laps and dry humping 👎🏾. I know it is wrong to project my issues on others, but I don’t care.
So now that I am open and vulnerable, what say you? Share with me one thing about yourself that people would probably never figure out about you or one thing that makes you weird and quirky. Of course I know you are not going to put it in the comment 🙄, but you can always email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. I am interested to see your responses. Quick question, should I add more pictures on my blog? Whether it is of me, me doing things or even pictures I take of nature and other things. Just thinking pictures of me can help people put a face to the person who is supplying the content. Also, the other pictures could break up some of my constant talking. Lol. As always, be well and whole.

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Me Pt. 3, the MS story

This is the last day of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Awareness month. I realized that I have not talked about how I knew that I had MS. So here is my story from before I was officially diagnosed to present day.
Driving home from Columbus on a Sunday, I had just taken my manicure licensing exam(I passed). All of a sudden, there was a blur in the center of my right eye. It was so weird. I rubbed my eye, still there. I pulled my glasses off and cleaned them, still there. I ran the wipers across my windshield. Still there. I went to the eye doctor. “There is something wrong with my eye!” His response, “I don’t see anything. It may just be a change in vision due to your age“, (I was 32). That was some bullshit. So that blur right in the center of my eye was still there and it stayed that way for about a month and a half. Until one day it was gone. Ok I don’t know what the hell that was but thank God it’s gone. Fast forward to about 2 months later, my left eye is doing the same exact thing. I went from “I don’t know what the hell it is” to “oh something is really wrong, this is not normal“.
With easy access to the majority of information at your fingertips, I went online searching. My search words were simply “blurred vision”. This yielded the usual conditions, cataracts and glaucoma. I knew I didn’t have either of those conditions. Also, diabetes (nope), stroke (no), migraines (don’t get those) and a brain tumor (GOD I hope not). I was reading about one of these conditions on Wikipedia and I scrolled down to the bottom. At the bottom it had links to other conditions that may cause blurred vision. At the bottom of this particular page I seen multiple sclerosis. Ok, what the hell is that? With that one click onto those two words, my life changed. Words that I had heard before due to Richard Pryor and Montel Williams, but still was not truly aware of what it was.
At the top of the Wikipedia page was a list of symptoms associated with multiple sclerosis. Out of the 10 or so symptoms listed, I had a good 7 of them. Things that I had brushed off as not important, as symptoms related to my other health condition (I have hypothyroidism) and other things that I thought may have just been due to stress, listed here at the top of the page. This weird tremor in my leg is unusual, but it is not bothering me so whatever. I am so fricking tired I keep falling asleep at my desk. Fatigue is one of the top symptoms of hypothyroidism so maybe my levels are really off and I just need to start some medication. Lhermitte’s sign, an electrical sensation that runs down my back when I bend my neck. Ok, I work an office job and my neck and shoulders are tight. This feeling is just from relieving some of that tension from stretching. I had an answer or an excuse to write off all the symptoms I was experiencing. Multiple Sclerosis did not and would not have ever crossed my mind.
I had zero intentions of telling anyone what I had discovered. One, I just read a bunch of information on Wikipedia, I think I should talk to a doctor first. At this point, it would be my own self-diagnosis. Two, why make people worry? If the end result was not MS, but maybe Lyme Disease (has similar symptoms but is curable), I got everybody worked up for no reason. Well, God had different plans. It was the very next day after my discovery. Before I even had the time to process the information and come to terms with the possibility of MS, I received a phone call. It was my mother. She had a dream that I fell down and could not walk. My stepfather and her had to carry me. Then they put me in a wheelchair. Creepy as hell right!?!? Yep. Ok, one other health condition, hypertension. She believed that I could have had a stroke in the dream and that is why I was unable to walk. She goes on to lecture me about the how-to’s of handling a stroke. I allowed her to finish and then I shared my information with her. When I say this was the last person I had intentions of telling. We know how our parents are and she is the straight up typical parent when it comes to me. Worry, pray, worry and pray some more.
So from this point on, I involved the doctors. MRI, lots of blood labs to rule out other possibilities (that’s how I knew Lyme Disease had similar symptoms) and the spinal tap. To the Cleveland Clinic with 2 of my best supporters, Selena and Monica, and I am diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. The crazy thing is I have never had a relapse that involved blurred vision in either of my eyes again. Now I do get the floating spots but that’s it. My life with an MS diagnosis is definitely different. But I am thankful because I know that it could be worse. I believe in the power of prayer and I believe because of prayers that I am doing so well. I am grateful for everyone’s prayers, my mom’s, my friends, strangers from the soup kitchen, strangers in general, coworkers and other people who I know.
Even though Multiple Sclerosis Awareness is observed in the month of March, the National MS Society will be holding the walk in Toledo on Sunday, May 19th at the Huntington Center (new location). I am sure they keep pushing it back due to bad weather. I don’t think I have attended a walk where the weather was decent yet. The walk starts at 8 am which I know is pretty early. If you would like to participate, you can sign up at walkms.org/signup. You would look for the Toledo, OH walk and my team name is Ebony’s Avengers. I welcome anyone who would like to join my team. If you have any questions, please email at elsims27@yahoo.com. Until the next post, be well and whole.
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Me Pt. 2, Facts

Looking back, Me Pt. 1 was created back in May of 2017. I guess I am due to share a little more information about myself. Here goes nothing, something, whatever.

1. I have only been in love 2 times in my life and I am not sure if either one of them counted. The first time I was 16 years old. And from my understanding young love like that is called puppy love. I guess adults don’t think at that age we have the capability to feel such deep emotions. Well, I did. And I still love him to this day. Not like I did when we were younger, but there is still love in my heart for him. The second time I was 30 years old. It took me a long time to realize that I was in love. Actually, someone else pointed it out to me. I struggled with the realization. Once I accepted the truth all I wanted to do was fall out of love. Lol. Not the right person or circumstances.

2. I am socially awkward and not good at small talk. After an initial greeting and talking about the weather conditions, I have no idea what to talk about. I will lapse into an uncomfortable silence, which I am not a fan of. If I’m too uncomfortable then I will start babbling about anything to fill the silence. Also, I am terrible at picking up on social cues. I like for people to say what they mean because I hate misunderstandings. I am a direct person and I need people to state their intentions directly. If you don’t, I probably won’t know what is going on unless someone else steps in and tells me. Then I can either clarify the situation or ignore you until you get the hint. Which at this point brings up number 3…

3. I’m an asshole. There us no way around it. I have to admit this. Most people probably wouldn’t believe this. I have grown up so I don’t say a lot of the things I used to when I was younger. I still think them, therefore I am still an asshole. Don’t get me wrong there are times that I do say them too. They just fall out of my mouth and sometimes I feel bad and other times I don’t give a shit. I am the type of person that when I am done with you, I will just never speak to you again. I won’t answer my phone, text you back and if I see you in public I will act like I don’t see you. I do not give people closure. I know this sounds mean and I am aware that it is mean. But the fact that I don’t care solidifies my point about being an asshole.

4. I am also an introvert to the point of being a recluse. I want to join the world, but every time I think about the energy it takes, I just say the hell with it. I’m so bad that I joined a group on Meetups to meet new people and start to socialize. Yea…still haven’t went to an event yet. It’s been almost a year. I love spending time by myself. Actually if I go too long without me time, I will morph into an evil person. I am getting too set in my ways. At this point, I cannot fathom living with someone on a daily basis. Plus, I would have to actually change because…

5. I am a total bachelorette that lives more like they say bachelors do. I am clarifying this because some bachelors are way neater than I am. I wash dishes when I want and I don’t make up my bed on a daily basis. I hate washing clothes and when I do, they will sit in a basket waiting on me to fold them. I iron only because my clothes are wrinkled due to sitting in a basket. I can’t tell you the last time I have eaten at my kitchen table. I usually will lean against the counter and eat standing up. I do have one redeeming quality though…

6. I love old people. The best job I ever had was delivering meals to senior citizens. If I could get paid comparable to what I make now I would work at a senior center. Now I don’t like wiping butts or cleaning up after people so I could not work in a nursing home. But simple interactions that brightens their day would make my day. Creating moments for seniors to feel loved and considered, my ideal of a life lived with purpose. Lending an ear to hear their concerns or listening to their stories from the past. Small but meaningful gestures. I am here for all of that.

I think that is enough sharing for now. I am sure that I have probably listed too many bad qualities, but I felt a need to get them out of the way. Next time I’ll lead with my more likeable, acceptable qualities. I am changing all the time. I hope it is for the better, but I can’t guarantee it 😉 “Know thyself” and “To thine own self be true”, so they say. I say, Be well and whole, whatever that looks like for you 😘.