Author: elsims

I have been so delinquent. I can’t say that I have not posted because I did not have anything to say because I always have something to say. I have taken on a side job, been reading a little more and a have a few crochet projects to finish. Unfortunately, I put my blog on the back burner. Not cool for people who have taken a true interest in my blog and expect regular posts. I am serious about this blog. I have even had t-shirts made, with more to come.

I actually have about 4 unfinished post waiting in the wings. This week, I am going to give you all four. Now I will be cramming my opinions down your throat. My coworkers will probably be happy about this because I spend all day sharing my opinions with them. Lol. One said that he is going to get me a shirt that says, “I’m just saying”. Yea I probably say that more than I should.

I am not Catholic but I respect the practice of giving up something for Lent. I have skipped the practice the last two years, but I really feel that I can benefit from it this year. I had already given up my Instagram and Twitter accounts at the beginning of the year. Now for Lent I will give up my Facebook account. I spend too much time watching videos and reading articles. It is how I stay current but also how I stay distracted. Lol. So just know I will not be able to respond to any post that I am tagged in or messages on Messenger. And what is so crazy is I may not even want my page back after 40 days. I guess I will see. I would like to give up other things but I haven’t decided what else. I can tell you right now it will not be coffee. Those would be the worse 40 days of the year. Lol. I would probably lose the last few friends I have.

Do you plan on giving up anything for Lent this year? Or are you like my mom who decided to include something instead? One year she said she would do some form of exercise each day. I thought that was a great idea. They say that doing something for 30 days will make it a habit. What will you make your new habit? Please feel free to comment below, email me at elsims27@yahoo.com or shoot me a text. My number is 419-213-9391. I usually don’t answer numbers I do not recognize. Make sure that you say your name in the text message. Since I will be off-line for 40 days after Tuesday, texting or email would be the best way to communicate with me. Thank you for continuing to support me and being patient with me.

To start off, I may alienate some men with these next few posts. That is not my intent. I want everyone to be able to read my blog and get something out of it. I just feel the need to focus on women right now. We are at a time where women are having their day in the light. I wish the reason was positive but unfortunately it is negative press. I am not going to get into it with this post but I will in the next one. This post will be mainly centered around this article that I read. Here is the link to the article. I suggest that you read it before you proceed any further otherwise I may lose you. I don’t care what your race or nationality is, any woman should be able to relate to something in this article.

*I am so sorry, but for some odd reason this link is not allowing me to add where you can click it, read it and then come back to this post. I suggest to copy and paste in your browser to read. I promise it will be worth your time.*

http://theglowup.theroot.com/for-colored-girls-in-their-30s-and-40s-who-feel-like-li-1821646201

As you all know, I have recently turned 40. Oddly enough I did not feel these feelings upon crossing that milestone, but I have felt them many times before. When I was younger I wanted to be married by 23 and have my first child at 25. None of this has happened. No kids and no husband. Not even dating. I have wanted to work in many different career fields. I have even attended beauty school twice, licensed esthetician and licensed nail technician. I have went to college three different times for three different majors and I still don’t have a degree. This one burns a little. Not one of my earlier imaginings of life has come to fruition. Oddly enough I am okay with it, most days. I believe most people have moments when they question themselves and feel as if they have not accomplished enough. Now my question to you is, “Your goals and ideas, are they want you really want or what you think you should want or have?”

What I mean by that is people say you should buy a house, have a family, go to college, yada yada. People judge us on these expectations so we may feel pressured to obtain things that we may not really want. Or we don’t know that we don’t want these things until we get them. I have been a homeowner for 16 years and let me tell you, it’s over-fucking-rated! And I am not saying that to dissuade anyone or discourage anyone. I am saying it because it is true for me. All of the responsibility is on you when you own a home. Something breaks down, you have to pay for it. The sewer backs up, on you. All utilities, yea that’s you too. Property taxes are still due even after you have paid your house off. There are of course a good amount of pluses to being a homeowner. I am glad that I have had the experience but I’m good with letting it go as well.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Out of all of the expectations for me as a woman, as a contributing member of society, there is a couple that I will say fits me right now in my life. I want to serve and to help people and I want to get married. All the rest of it is up in the air. I don’t want my life to be defined by other’s expectations. I want to live a life that shows God is in me and that makes me happy. Forget all the rest. I want to live in my purpose, whatever that may be. Still a little foggy on that.

There was a young lady in her thirties that posted a comment after the article. It made tears come to my eyes. I felt her pain heavily within me. I have been where she is right now. I have known her uncertainty. I couldn’t help but give some words of encouragement. This is what I said to her;

“Oh my goodness you made me cry. I don’t know you but you are awesome and amazing. Keep pushing and fighting. Never give up. These moments working jobs you don’t want and doing things you don’t like are learning moments. God is building you up with the knowledge and gifts that are going to benefit you when it is time. Look back on all of your experiences and jobs and write down what you learned, be it good or bad. You needed these things to be the person you are ultimately meant to be. Don’t despair. It will be alright. You will be better than alright. You will be extraordinary. God bless you.”

This message is for any woman feeling less than, insecure, what the hell am I doing with my life, why am I here, where is my husband (ok maybe that is just me lol). We are everything that we are meant to be right now. Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t rush your timeline. Live your best life in this moment and the next. God bless you all.

As always, you can leave a comment in the box below or feel free to email me at elsims27@yahoo.com.

Me and my emails lately. I received an email from Code Academy mentioning one day resolutions. The email was as it pertains to learning a new skill for coding purposes. When I initially looked at the email, I was struck by the idea of one day resolutions. Each year people set resolutions/wants/goals. We want to be better people. We want to take the necessary steps to better our lives. And if coding is something on your to do list, check out Code Academy. They can teach you step by steps on the basics of html and css. I’m sure it’s more but that is as far as I got. And I didn’t really complete that either. Lol. One day resolution opportunity here. We want to travel more and spend more time with family and friends. The list is endless. The only problem is that we don’t usually accomplish these goals. They fall by the wayside when everyday life starts to take over. We don’t have clear and actionable plans. We decided it is just not worth the effort. Whatever. Nobody is judging you. Well I’m not at least. I haven’t made New Year resolutions in about the last 3 years. The ones I did make I’m sure I’ve never finished/accomplished them.

Now back to the one day resolutions. I’m just really into this. I even started it last year because I wanted to get a head start on this concept. I set a goal of putting up a new blog post for that day. At the end of the day I had completed that task and was happy. I didn’t set one for the next day. And that is the beauty of it. There is no pressure when you hold yourself accountable for the day that you are in. No sense of failure. No beating yourself up. When you say I’m going to go to the gym everyday for 3 months. Seriously?!? Probably not. When you wake up, set your resolution/goal of going to the gym that day and you make it, high-five yourself. If that is the goal for the next day, set it and complete it. And on the day that you just don’t feel like it, set a different goal. And if you are a supreme overachiever, make one day resolutions to take time off. To just do nothing. To say no and mean it. And make sure you do it. No guilt, no shame.

Now I am lazy and I’m not going to sit down and write out a month worth of resolutions. I am going to wake up each day and say what I want to accomplish that day. I think that would work best for me. Now if you are the type of person that needs everything written out, please get a calendar/planner and set a resolution for each day of the month. Still be flexible. If you wanted to cut grass but it’s raining, swap days. Nothing is set in stone. We can be so hard on ourselves. This seems like a way to relieve some of our expectations and to live a more realistic life. For me, it does at least. I know that due to my limitations, I may not be able to get the things I want or I need done. Do you think when I am beating myself up I take that into consideration? Not at all. I am pretty hard on myself. And so are most people. Let’s change that.

Whether you want to learn a new language, clean out the garage or get fit, I think this idea could work for some of you all. If you read my last post about 4 Things by Lisa Nichols this ties right in. Setting micro 90 day goals and celebrating 10 wins at the end of the year applies well with this strategy. Just think, at the end of 365 days going with one day resolutions, you won’t struggle with finding 10 wins. You would have a hard time narrowing it down to just 10. Winning! I am so excited at this new approach to an old system. I am eager to know how many people who are going to give this a try. Please comment below or send me an email at elsims27@yahoo.com. Share a few of your one day resolutions. I am rooting for your successes and want to celebrate them with you. Good luck and God bless. You can and will do it! Happy New Year 2018!!