Dating Diaries, Vol. 1

Talmadge Memorial Bridge
Savannah, GA

I remember when I used to deliver meals to senior citizens, I met a man on my route. He was a postal carrier. I was in the lobby waiting for my senior to buzz me up and he was putting the mail in the boxes. We spoke and something just clicked. It so happened we had met years ago at a summer program when we were in high school. We exchanged numbers and even dated for a little while. It didn’t last and I’m not sure who was the problem in that equation, I would say both of us. I want that again. Well, not the part where we didn’t work out. The meet cute part. The genuine interaction and chemistry. Does it happening that way anymore?

I have been using the dating app Bumble. For those who have no clue, Bumble is the dating app that allows women to make the first move. The men may swipe right (which means they are interested), but unless you swipe right on him as well, you will not know who is interested. Now for the small price of $34.99 a month, you can see who likes you without having to match with them. Once you match with a man, the woman has 24 hours to reach out and connect. I assume after the 24 hours, the match disappears. As I am writing this, two questions come to mind. One, who makes the first move when it is women seeking women or men seeking men? Second, can a person rematch if they miss the 24 hour window?

I don’t mind being the person to send a message. The issue is I don’t have any game. None at all. I just send a standard Hello. The last guy I matched with unmatched with me after I sent my Hello. I guess he wanted something more ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. There was another one I matched with that was a complete waste of time for both of us. I sent a message, he sent one back within the 24 hours and I responded and that was the end of that. I guess I’m not the only one terrible at this.

The first person I matched with seemed perfect. Well, not perfect, but you know what I mean. He was attractive, didn’t want kids and believed in God. He even stated in his bio he was interested in someone to attend church with and pray with. Oh, and he said he liked to grill. I love grilled food and a man that cooks because I’m greedy ๐Ÿ˜†. We texted back and forth and he had a sense of humor. Another plus. Then, he went MIA for a few days. One of my bad qualities is I ghost people. When I am done, I’m done. And I can take what I dish out. For some odd reason, this time I was annoyed that I was getting ghosted. I know it is nothing less than I deserved, but how dare he?!? So me being me, I texted him and asked him was he ghosting me ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ. Of course, he denied it. Even got an attitude that I would suggest such a thing. He went on to communicate with me via text for about another week. But here we are, not texting or talking because he was ghosting me! He just didn’t like that I called him out on it.

This shit is so exhausting and I am only 3 matches in. How do people do this? There has to be a better way. I need to figure it out because this shit ain’t it. I’m going to keep pushing through, maybe just not on Bumble. I don’t think any one dating app is better than the other. I have exhausted the men on Bumble and I am tired of them recycling the men. No means No ๐Ÿ˜‚. I am sure I will see some of the same men from Bumble on another dating app. Just a bunch of socially awkward, workaholics with no game, me included.

One day this will all pay off. That day is not coming soon enough though. I’m about to be a golden girl ๐Ÿ˜†. I guess I’ll just work on staying well and whole while I wait. You stay well and whole too. Much Love ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’š

For The Love of Architecture

The Castle at Smith Lake
Photo credit: Arc Realty

Ebony has not been Ebony on Everything lately. Ebony hasn’t even been Ebony on Anything. As the people that know me know, I have an opinion on almost everything. It’s to the point that when I say I don’t have an opinion, my friends don’t believe me. Then there are topics that I feel so strongly about I can’t keep it to myself even if I tried. Today’s topic popped in my head as soon as I opened my eyes this morning.

I love architecture and architectural design. I love houses inside and out. The materials used to cover the structure, brick, siding, or stone. The layout of a floor plan that is well done. The floors, walls, windows and how everything comes together. In Toledo, I used to attend the Parade of Homes each year just to look at houses and their floor plans. I have drawn a very crude floor plan combining elements from a bunch of different houses. Now I just need millions of dollars, an architect to perfect my floor plan, and a builder. It’s doable (I know what you are thinking. I’m manifesting, don’t shit on my dreams ๐Ÿ˜‚).

My favorite architect is Frank Lloyd Wright. He was so ahead of his time. So brilliant. And apparently, kind of an asshole. I am fighting my way through his book, The Natural House. He was an amazing architect, but a terrible writer. Wright does have me cracking up the way he talks about other architects and builders. To be fair, he was right, but he gave them no grace. I guess now I have to highlight at least one of Wright’s houses on here as well. I have one that I drooled over for days that listed recently. Showing everyone pictures and my favorite parts of the house. I am still not over it’s beauty, but I did stop going back to it. However, it is saved in my favorites whenever I get the urge.

I am sure you are probably asking, where is all of this coming from? That house, Castle at Smith Lake, pictured above inspired me, no…more like disgusted me and gave me the overwhelming urge to share my opinion. When that popped up in my news feed, I had to take a deeper look. A castle in Alabama is strange enough, but the picture was what really got me. That is some ugly shit. I don’t feel like I need to say more. What was killing me is what the writers of the magazine articles was saying about the house. TJ Macias, with the Charlotte Observer, said,

“A home called the Castle at Smith Lake is the living embodiment of elegance both inside and out with a very unique twist: Its eye-catching design.”

Now TJ know he was lying. At that moment, I realized I better stick to writing for my blog and Vivyd where I get to express my true opinions. There is no way I could have written that article telling them lies. I’m going to go with what Amanda, my coworker, said, “Frankenstein’s Monster”. Now that is an accurate description.

I just knew the inside was going to be a hot mess. I said as bad as the outside look, there is no way the inside looks good. Surprisingly, the interior is not so bad on the brick side of the house.

Photo credit: zillow.com
Photo credit: zillow.com

The “castle” side needs a refresh.

Photo credit: zillow.com

You can tell the house was renovated at some point in time though. The interior can’t make up for the exterior though. Nor does it justify the $4.9 million asking price. I am going to keep tabs on this “castle”. Which I feel like they used that term loosely. I looked up the definition of a castle and it isn’t fitting it. I do want to know how much it truly sells for. Here is the link to view more pictures of the house, https://www.arcrealtyco.com/single-family/gal/1358642/354-county-road-211-bremen-al-35033.

The best thing about this “castle” is the plot of land it is sitting on. Them views, them views, them views ๐Ÿ˜. They are spectacular!

Photo credit: zillow.com
Photo credit: zillow.com

Every time I look at the pictures of the scenery, the lake, the sunset, my heart sings. Just tear the house down, put a few tiny houses on there for me and my people and all is right with the world. Yes, I have my crude floor plan that I want created into a home, but I would want to share this space with people I love. And though I love them, I don’t want to inhabit the same living space. I have also designed my own tiny home. I told y’all I love houses.

It is a must that I receive some comments from you all. I need everyone’s opinion on this matter. More importantly, I need your opinion to match mines ๐Ÿ˜†. Even if it doesn’t, please share. I promise I will be nice and agree to disagree even as my soul shrivels up inside me. For the people who agrees with me, stay well and whole. For the others, go get a check up, something is off ๐Ÿ˜‚. Much Love to you all ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’š