Stumbling Through Life and Love
The other morning as I got up to get ready for work, I stumbled to the bathroom. I thought I am always stumbling and not just when I walk, but in life as well. Hence, the title. Here I am, 45 years old, training for my next career transition, still not knowing what I want to be when I grow up. Single, with minimal prospects, actually zero to none 😆. And I don’t even know how to rectify the situation. Or at least the suggestions from others aren’t working and I am this close 👌🏾 to saying fuck it (a sewing needle couldn’t even fit in the distance between my thumb and finger).
I know there are people who may say I am being too picky and I am not sure if there is a such thing. This is the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. As I said before, I’m 45, I don’t think I have room for error. Maybe the term should be unrealistic. Now, I do believe that is possible. But I’m not even being unrealistic. I have 3 nonnegotiables for when I look at someone’s dating profile or someone I meet organically. One, must believe in God. I don’t care how cute you are or anything else that may sound good in your profile, that is an instant swipe left. Two, doesn’t want kids. There is nothing I can do for a man who wants kids. I’m too old and I don’t want kids. Now, he can have kids. My preference is kids that are close to grown, but I won’t rule anyone out based on the kid(s) age. Three, cannot be a conservative. This may ruffles some feathers. I do not care what side you lean towards in the general sense, but I am a woman. And as I woman, I do not believe that men should have any say in what women do with our bodies. Yes, I believe in God, but what I do is between me and God. Just like what that man does is between him and God.
Now, for all the other things that may cause others to say I am “picky”. Only having one picture, only pictures with a hat on (hats are men’s makeup), saying nothing at all on their profile, I don’t find you attractive, and they are looking for something casual (i.e. fuck buddy). I have swiped left so many times, they are running out of men in my area. They have just started to recycle the ones I already said no to 🤦🏾♀️. I think dating websites are so strange and I am annoyed that this is probably the best way to meet someone. I’m terrible at it. The texting back and forth having meaningless conversations. The round of getting to know you questions. The awkward conversations when you finally do talk. Yet, when I think about it, I don’t know if I’m good at organic dating either 😬. I think the plus in organic dating is there is an initial spark. Something to build on. Not the build-a-bear scene of dating apps.
When it is all said and done, I want a husband. Not just to say I got married, or I could have married the wrong person years ago 😆. So, I will keep stumbling through this life open to love and loving. Waiting to fall and that man to catch me (so cheesy). He better catch me! I don’t know if I can take another fall, figuratively and literally 😂. Y’all saw what I looked like the last time. And fortunately or unfortunately, you all are going to have a front row seat. Hell, I already have a story to tell. Next blog. This blog post was the story builder, like the first movie or book in a series. For your sake and mines, I hope it is a short series. Continue to be well and whole. Much Love 🧡 💚
MS Walk Toledo 2023, Part 2
This post is long overdue. I know y’all are tired of my little black ass and all my excuses. I don’t even have one this time. I quit with the excuses. I’m the problem 😫. We all know the first step is admitting you have a problem. So hopefully I can move on from here. Fingers crossed.
Recently, I was in Cleveland by way of Toledo to celebrate my friend Selena’s 45th birthday.
Of course, the rest of the crew was there. Aren’t we cute 😍.
Then came back to Toledo Sunday morning in time to make the MS Walk and surprise my soul sister Bea Tea. Bea Tea does the walk every year in support of me and my cousin Denise. I am so thankful and grateful for her. Listen, when I tell y’all I was tired as hell at work on the Monday and every other day that week once I returned. I’m too old for the burn and turn and staying up way past my normal bedtime. I think I have officially recovered 😆.
This MS walk was exactly what I needed. My team was small, but I was touched by everyone who attended. Honorable mention: my friend Melinda couldn’t make it to the walk, but she stopped by after the walk.
L to R: Vee, Bea Tea, Gerard, Me (of course), Sheron
And y’all know I had to crochet an MS blanket for the walk in my hometown. Once I realized I would be in town the same weekend as the walk, I got busy. I worked hard on this one! I knew I wanted to give it to this beautiful woman, Joy Norwood, and she is tall so I made it bigger than normal size.
Look at the little heart 💜.
I made my first MS blanket to give to an MS warrior in 2017. I wasn’t sure of the process I would use to choose the person to give the blanket to. I just wanted God to lead me to that person. God led me to Tina Santiago. I reunited with Tina and her team and we took an updated picture.
Tina also gave me a few more crosses that her dad, who is 100 years old, carved out of wood. He has officially retired from making crosses, but he has made 32,700. I am so honored to be a recipient of 1 out of 32,700.
All in all, one of the best MS walks hands down. I’m excited about next year’s walk. I will get organized and have a team and t-shirts. I even have someone in mind to give a blanket to.
After my last post a thousand years ago, I have had so many people pour into me. My friend Sherry sent me a response text and I have thought about what she wrote a lot. My friend Gerard stays blowing my head up with his encouraging words 😄. My best friends have supported me and reminded me that my voice is important and needed. Honestly, it has been making me emotional and I don’t do that. Okay, maybe just a little. I can’t tell you all how much it means to me. And that is why I do not have anymore excuses.
I can’t say how often I will post, but I know it will be more regularly. I can’t say what I will talk about. It may be a pity party or something inspirational. I just know I can’t stay silent any longer. I have something to say,…well a lot of things actually. Stay well and whole. Much Love 🧡💚