I don’t even know where to beginning. Last year was different. Especially after 2020 and 2021, which I thought were pretty good years even though we were in a pandemic. I experienced a lot of lows in 2022 and I didn’t bounce back like I thought I would. My biggest low happened at the end of the year. I landed face first on the ground when the forces of nature and MS conspired against me.
If you know me, you know I am so vain. I don’t even like a pimple on my face. So to say this was rough is an understatement. You may not believe me, but it looked worse in person. By the grace of God, I am only mildly changed.
So I didn’t have any year end reflections or thoughts on how I wanted my 2023 to start. I just wanted to look and feel normal. Every day I just want to get closer to who I was before. Physically and mentally.
Am I happy? No. Am I okay? Yes. Am I dwelling in the what ifs and why me? Probably. Am I going to pull through it? Absolutely! As an introvert, I struggle with letting people in. I am not trying to be super independent or not share the shady parts of my life. I just don’t know how to open that door. I also don’t want to be a burden. And yes, somewhere deep in me I know that I am not, but at times it still feels as if I am.
Every year, my goal is to be more vulnerable. To open myself up and show people I do have a heart. I promise you I do! I am not exactly sure if I’ve even budge an inch in the vulnerability department 🤦🏾♀️. Either way, a more vulnerable and open Ebony is once again my goal. I want to embrace, love and accept all sides of myself. Even the ones I see as weaknesses. I want to request assistance when it is needed and accept graciously when it is offered.
“One of the greatest acts of strength is extending oneself permission to be weak.” – Airicia Colley
I am slowly, but surely pulling myself back together. I will find the joy and peace in writing again. I will continue to work at being well and whole. And I hope you will do the same. Much Love 🧡 💚
P.S. I apologize to my subscribers who may have received the spam comments from my blog. I didn’t realize that you were also receiving the comments. There is still so much I don’t know about the background workings of my blog. I believe I have fixed the problem so you should not be sexually harassed any longer. Once again, my deepest apologies.