I know this is not Mental Health Awareness Month, but my heart is heavy and my mind is overactive. News came on Sunday of Cheslie Kryst, 2019 Miss USA, passing away due to suicide. Why was Cheslie depressed? She won the Miss USA pageant. She was a host on Extra, meeting famous people and attending glamorous events. She had accomplished so much in her young age. A lawyer with an MBA. She was always smiling and laughing. Most people would be confused as to why a beautiful young lady, who looked like she had a great life, would want to leave this world? Back in the day, so would I. Now, I have a better understanding.
I will not say I have any inkling of what Cheslie was going through before her death. Do I know what it’s like to be a woman in this world? A black woman in a world that is still racist? A woman that is aging and feeling like she has not done enough and that she may never do enough? I know all of that. I know of the pressures of this world. I know it takes strength that only God can give to continue to stay positive, to not give in to negative self talk and to not let the opinion of others weigh me down. I know that I have to constantly find gratitude through my limitations and adjust every time one of my current abilities are altered. I know that I am not far from experiencing depression myself. And that any day, if I slack up just a little, I may find myself there.
So when it is all said and done, let’s not judge. Let’s seek to understand. Let’s find compassion and empathy. Let’s be kind. I don’t know what you are dealing with and you don’t know what I am dealing with. We don’t know who is suffering from depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts. We don’t walk around with our burdens on display. We hide them. We cover them up with smiles, make up, nice clothes, big houses, fancy cars. We bombard people with pictures of our fun times and happy moments. We are scared of letting people truly see us. We think that people won’t understand. The truth is, they will, more than we know.
After my friend shared the news in our group chat, I became angry. I was mad at my friends, as if they had done something. But on the other side of anger is hurt. I would be devastated if one of my friends was hurting and hiding it from me. I would be mad that they thought I wouldn’t drop everything and help in whatever way they needed. I told them that in the chat with so much feeling behind my words. My heart breaking at the mere thought. And realizing the most selfish part of me would be hurt that now I have to spend the rest of my life without one of them.
Mental health awareness and treatment has come a long way since back in the day when they would cut out portions of your brain, as if that was an answer. Mental health is starting to lose its stigma. It is starting to get the attention it should have been gotten. The pandemic has helped to highlight its importance. But it still has a ways to go. If you are suffering, please get help. Don’t think that you will just wake up one day and be better. It doesn’t work that way. There are resources available, medication, counseling, group therapy. You just need to find the one that works for you. I am telling you, the world is a better place with you in it. Make being well and whole a priority. Much Love 🧡 💚 with an extra dose of Love ❤️.
