You know how you go through some pretty terrible shit and think you have came out on the other side of it. And you are like “Yes, it’s over”. Then one day, not long after the last event, something else terrible happens. And you realize that the terrible shit is far from over. I thought Book 41 was done. Written and published. Now I have to edit it to include an epilogue and that is the first two chapters of Book 42. Smh. Yep, just yep.
I know that our lives don’t just miraculously change because we want it to or overnight. Things happen. I get it. But I am also tired of it. Like really what the hell? One month and a few days has passed since I turned 42. I have been so optimistic about the whole thing. Then, I got punched in the gut. This past week has just delivered me a black eye.
Yes, a nice crack in the windshield of the rental car. The last thing I needed. So I am not handling life well right now. I am not saying these things for sympathy, empathy, pity or signifying that I need or want help. I am saying them because they are new to me and I am amazed that I have been in this place for so long. And I realize that some people live like this each and every day and don’t come out of it. How they must feel!?!?! How do they see the world? Will they ever come out of it? Do they make a goal to get out of this rut that seems at times hopeless? I need to talk to someone. I need to know how to move on from this. I also need to know why people give up and don’t move on. I would love to talk to someone once I am out of this rut. To encourage ours that it is not hopeless and one day all this shit will be in your rearview. But first, I need to make it to the other side. I need to be on solid ground. Build a stable foundation. Then I could reach out to others who are were I have been. To give my testimony.
Book 42 is going to be missing a few chapters. I refuse to include these last couple of months in my new book. This book was for life changing, groundbreaking events. Financial abundance and love. All the good shit. I am rejecting all other things that don’t align with the way I want my life to go. If any more chapters act like they belong in Book 41, they can kiss my grits. Lol. I was in my car Saturday watching the sunrise and working on this post and this song came on the radio.
Watch “for KING & COUNTRY – burn the ships (Official Music Video)” on YouTube
I had heard it before but I guess I wasn’t tuned in to what it was saying. Yesterday morning it was meant for me to truly hear the words. I had a moment in the car. This song spoke to me and I am ready for the day that I burn the ships. I know I am not the only person in this situation. Other’s issues are maybe the same as mine or different. But we all have them. If you are in a bad place right now, please don’t give up.
Each new day brings an opportunity for the burdens to be lifted. For the blessings to pour. I know it seems hopeless at times but I know that God has you and I. We just have to hold on and keep having faith. I know I may not be of any use right now but I am still available as a listening ear. Feel free to email me or leave a comment below. Please don’t give up and be well and whole. Love you all.