A couple of weeks ago I was in the barbershop hanging with my fellas and we were discussing I don’t know what exactly. Not sure how we got on this topic. But I stated that I was not involving myself in any extracurricular activities because I was waiting for my Mr. Right. Everyone, which were all men, laughed at me. Even the little 18-year-old was laughing at me. To him, I should have said be quiet little boy you don’t know nothing. And then I thought maybe I used the wrong word. I know that women always say things like I am waiting for Mr. Right or Mr. Perfect. Or I am always dating the wrong guys or kissing the frogs that don’t turn into a prince. And though these are clichés to describe our predicament, they work. I thought about it the next day and I realized what I said was not inaccurate. I am waiting for my Mr. Right. What that means to me definitely does not mean the same thing for every woman or the majority of woman for that matter.
I believe that we all should know what we want in our significant other. What we can tolerate,…wait not tolerate. I don’t like that word when it comes to relationships. The qualities that they have that could sometimes be annoying to someone but it doesn’t annoy you about this person. We should also know the things that we can bring to a healthy, productive, protective and supportive relationship. It is essential that we participate in these kind of relationships to allow us to become our best selves. I may be assuming that just because that’s something I would want, others would also. Well I’m definitely going to assume it because it makes damn good sense. But for those of you who are not looking for that kind of relationship that is fine as well. There have been times in my life when I didn’t want a relationship. I wasn’t in a good place and there was nothing I could bring to the table. I will say this, if you have nothing to bring, don’t come. Figure yourself out, learn to love yourself. Live your best life, do what makes you happy and do no harm to others. Simple huh?
I just want to expand upon this a little bit. My Mr. Right is someone who is right for me. There’s no guideline to what he should have based on society’s view. I don’t need tall, dark and handsome. But I definitely would prefer tall and handsome. He doesn’t have to look like a fitness model because I sure in the hell don’t. He doesn’t have to wear name brand expensive clothes and shoes. But I would like for him to dress nice and be presentable. His qualities are based on what I need in my life right now and years to come. I have come to these by trial and error. By my life and circumstances changing due to things outside of my control. The things that I valued or looked for in men when I was younger was different but the most important ones are still there. That makes these qualities a necessity not a want.
Now I’m going to talk about Lisa Nichols, who I am obsessed with, again. In her book, Abundance Now, she told a story of a lady who had written in a journal the qualities, needs and desires of her ideal mate when she was single. At some point down the line, the lady became involved in a long distance relationship with a guy who she ended up pregnant by. At this point she was questioning the relationship and went back to look at all the things that she had written about her ideal mate. The gentleman that she had been dating and was her child’s father had the majority of these qualities of her Mr. Right. So I thought this would be a good idea. I wrote some things down that my mate would embody. I’m going to share just a couple minor ones with you and a few major ones. I probably shouldn’t share the minor ones because you will see how shallow I really am. Lol. And maybe I won’t get laughed at when I say I’m looking for my Mr. Right. Don’t get me wrong I had time to break it down but it wasn’t worth the argument. Those turds will say anything to get you riled up.
-believes in God (major)
-accepts me for exactly who I am right now and continues to accept me as I grow and change (major)
-has a great work ethic but is not a workaholic
-kind to me and others
-fun-loving, wants to do things that we both enjoy but willing to try new things
-attractive, regular build, not too skinny or too big, about 5’10 – 6’5 (minor, kinda)
–enjoys eating and taking me out on weekly dinner dates (minor, but not really. I can go bi-weekly)
-knows how to grill (minor)
Then of course there are the obvious ones such as loyal, honest, supportive, so on and so forth. I am still putting things on the list, it’s not set in stone. I haven’t taken anything off though. I am firm about what I need and flexible about what I want, but I am praying that a good number of my wants are realized. For all my single people, have you written down your expectations for a mate? If not, would writing it down be something to help you see what is invaluable in a mate? I’m pretty sure no one is going to comment on here being as no one ever does. Lol. But feel free to post a comment, send an email (elsims27@yahoo.com) or shoot me a text (419-213-9391). Please do not leave a comment on Facebook or Messenger because I won’t see it any time soon.
