Month: October 2017

October 25th, 2017 marks the 20th anniversary of the Million Woman March which was held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I was a part of that day in history. I was 19 years old about to be 20 years old. My memories from that day are vague because I have a horrible memory of older events in my life. I attended with my mom and some family friends. I feel like we wore matching shirts that day. If so I no longer have it nor would I probably be able to fit it. Lol. I remember after the event walking to the mall all by myself and buying a few clothing items and a famous Philly cheese steak, not a fan. I know I’m going to get some flack for that statement. Not enough vegetables and too much meat for me. The next day walking around and seeing some of the historic sites of Philadelphia. The end.

Did the Million Woman March make an impact? At the time maybe, lasting not at all. How many times have you or someone you know ever talked about it? Were you even aware that there was such an event? I have a nightgown that reminds me of the March every time I wear it. Yes I have a 20 year old nightgown. But if I had not attend the March would I remember that it happened. Probably vaguely. Like I said I have a horrible memory for older events. I am sure that the founders may still have things going on that are tied to the original event. There is nothing on a mainstream level that I have heard of. Hell what was the purpose of the march? The Million Woman March was similar to the Million Man March. It was a March organized by African American women to bring awareness to social conditions, injustices and inequality experienced by African American woman. We were coming together as women to support each other and encourage each other.

Recently I walked in another March, the Women’s March. I attended a local March in Ann Arbor, Michigan with my dear friend Sherry. Her friend made us pussycat hats and I took my walking sticks. We chanted and cheered with other women and a fair amount of men who love their women. When I made it home to look at all the news stories from around the world in support of the Women’s March, I teared up. It touched my heart. I was humbled by the amount of people that showed up to protest the treatment of women in 2017. And here I was a part of a similar March in 1997. Why are we still revisiting the same issues? As a married woman you cannot get your tubes tied without permission from your husband. As a married man, he can get a vascetomy and you would be none the wiser. Huh? Women in similar or equal positions to men in the workforce are still being paid less. Oh we dont have families to feed too? Women are sexually assaulted on a regular basis, even big name celebrities, and it is ignored or looked at as normal. What? The loser currently holding office as President is shown on tape talking about how he sexually assaults women and people vote him into office because God forbid you vote for a woman. The worst part is that women who should be looking out for other women support him. Girl, you just another nasty bleeding pussy to him. I can’t make sense out of that.

After 20 years, nothing has changed. Black women are not united, we do not march through our day to day lives encouraging and uplifting each other and we do not stand in support of each other. I know this statement has ruffled some feathers and that’s fine because the truth hurts. When I say this I’m not talking about your friends. Of course we do that for our friends. I’m talking about random women. Women you meet at your job, women you see walking down the street, women you see at social events. How often do you compliment a woman of color? When you see a woman succeeding in life at her own business or whatever she chooses to be, do you go over and encourage her? Or when you see a woman down and out, do you uplift her? I did not used to do these things when I was younger. Now I am quick to offer a compliment, high five someone about their successes and give any woman an encouraging word and send prayers up on her behalf. I don’t care who you are. Race is not a factor for me. We are all women and that is the bonding factor. I realize that all women in this society are not seen as equal. But that shouldn’t stop us from supporting each other. How will we ever get to where we want to go by letting our color divide us? We won’t.

I am not a feminist. I’m just a woman, a black woman, that is seen as less than in a society that is ruled by men. Stupid ass men. As a woman, I want my rights to be equal to theirs. And if my participation at 19 years old in a march and 39 years old in a different march brings some amount of awareness to our strength and our fight, I’m all for it. What I would really like to see is women truly coming together in our day to day lives standing up for each other, loving on each other and praying for each other. Women have so much more power than we are aware of. It’s time we start using it to help each other and therefore help the world.

For those who may not be aware, there is a Women’s Convention being held by the Women’s March organizers happening in Detroit, Michigan on October 27th – 29th. There will be about 42 speakers in attendance including featured speaker Rep. Maxine Waters. Side note, Maxine Waters was one of the speakers in the Million Woman March in 1997. The title is “Reclaiming Our Time”. If you have attended either of the two previous events I mentioned, tell me about your experiences. Did it change you in any way? If you plan on attending the upcoming event, why? What is your motivation? What would you, as a woman or man, like to see differently in this world where women are concerned? What are you willing to do to effect change? Please share your comments on this post. Or as always, you can email me at elsims27@yahoo.com.

P.S.
Sorry I’m late. I fell asleep.

I recently took a trip to Cancun, Mexico with 3 of my best friends. The trip had its ups and downs but overall I had a great time. We went parasailing,

We also rode on the Subsea Explorer and I saw a mermaid.

Yes they do exist! Lol. I even rode on a jet ski.

It took us out to the boat to parasail. Fun, fun, fun.

I don’t travel much and have not been outside the USA since it was mandatory to have a passport. Usually I drive to my destination because I don’t like to limit what I can bring. And if I purchase something, I don’t want to worry about having enough room in my suitcase to bring it back. Or the issue with the weight of your suitcase. Plus oddly enough, I actually like driving. I am celebrating my birthday in Atlanta, Georgia this year and I could have caught a flight, but I’m driving. I can listen to all my jams, think about life and do some serious praying. And not praying that the plane doesn’t crash. Lol.

I have already highlighted some of the ups of my trip. I would like to bring attention to the downs of my trip right now. Nothing serious but some things that I learned and mistakes I won’t make again. First, we will go back to the luggage issue. Now I had never been to Mexico so I wasn’t sure of what to pack and I definitely overpacked. We did not have any set plans for the trip so I felt like I needed to be prepared for all possibilities. That was my thinking when I packed my suitcase. Still no excuse for the amount of clothes I put in there. Lol. I need to start learning how to pack for flights because I plan on taking more trips outside the US. What I should have packed was swimsuits, a few sundress and some shoes. That’s all I used besides sun hats, which my friends grew to hate because I didn’t take them off. I have a bad reaction to the sun and I was not about to look ugly on this trip or when I got back home. I get extreme heat rash. One thing that was an up, I got mild heat rash only on my arms and shoulders. Also, I did prepare by going to my doctor before the trip. She provided me with a Medrol dose pack if I did have a bad reaction and some cream to clear up the rash. That was the first time I did that. I usually wing it and suffer the consequences until I get home, then get a steroid shot to clear it up. Smart Ebony. Lol

Second, I did not exchange my US money for Mexican pesos. Big mistake. Now I personally didn’t buy anything and that was the reason why. I found that the different places we went processed the exchange rate at whatever the hell rate they wanted to. I’m pretty sure that I was going to get ripped off because I know that my friends did. I think Monica paid $9 for an ice cream cone. And honestly, I don’t need anything else crowding up my house. The one thing that I didn’t purchase that I wanted was a magnet. Any country whose currency value is less than the American dollar, needs to be exchanged. They had a place in the airport where you can exchange money once you get to Mexico. Then on your way out there is another location where you can change it back. I truly recommend this, especially if you plan on purchasing items and eating at other locations than your hotel. Our trip was all inclusive. The only money I used was to tip.

Third downer, keep all the papers that are given to you in the process of going through customs. We were not told this. They just rushed us through. Since there was a language barrier, not a lot of talking. I always keep any papers or receipts from travel until I get home. My lovely friend Monica threw a paper away or misplaced a paper that was essential for the return trip. The replacement cost was $30. I don’t have that kind of money to pay for something that was initially free. Especially when those words could be on the form or communicated. Don’t throw any papers away people.

Now the fourth thing I am adding is a request from Monica and I know Selena will back her up. The women at the resort were not the friendliest. I can even go as far as to say that they were downright mean and rude. Once we checked in and looked at our rooms, we were less than impressed. The ladies went to the check-in desk to request other rooms. There was an up charge of $40 a night but the room would not be available until the next day. Ok, so they took forever getting the rooms ready the next day so the ladies requested their money back. Let’s just say after much arguing and going back and forth, they finally got it back on our way out of the door. The women at the check-in did not want to give them the money back. They used their ever fluctuating exchange rate and reduced the money down to like $15 dollars a day. Naw I’m going to need my full $40 a day back. That was a mess.

One more up. The men on the other hand were fabulous. They were attentive and had my mimosas ready. Lol. Anytime that we went on excursions, the men were sensitive to my limitations and helped in anyway that they could. Wait, I do want to give credit to the women who gave the water aerobics class. They were also awesome. The ladies tweaked the class to allow me to really enjoy myself.

My friends were not impressed with Cancun. Besides the sweltering heat which is not good for MS, I had a good time. I would go back. My excursions would be snorkeling and taking the tour where you drive your own boat. And of course I would change my money over to pesos. I still need my magnet. Lol. For those who travel, what are some of your tips? Are there any destinations that you would recommend? And what are some of the things that you learned through experiences? Leave a comment in the box. Now I thought I set it up to get an email when someone leaves a comment. Let’s just say I obviously don’t know what I’m doing. I will work to figure it out. But as soon as I see your comment, I will definitely reply. As always you can email me at elsims27@yahoo.com.

Now I know that I just did a post about people being too damn sensitive and I am not backtracking on that. But have you seen the Dove ad? Even though I initially had not seen the full ad, I wasn’t offended. After seeing the full ad, I understood it a little better. I was however a little surprised. I was surprised that no one in their marketing team had notice the obvious racial undertones. I was surprised that they decided to play it. And surprised that people who saw it did not understand why some black people were offended. The ad was in poor taste. I have to believe that there is not a single person of color working in their marketing department.

As a brown skinned black woman, I understand why people were offended. Growing up most of my friends were light skinned and I wanted to be too. I have never told them this story so I know that they will be surprised when they read this. My mother and brother were lighter skinned as well. I told my mom that I wished I was light skinned. She sat me down and straighten me out. The things she said to me that day has allowed me to love the skin that I am in everyday from then on. She told me I was beautiful and I believed her. She encouraged me to love myself for who I was. Now when I see ads that look like they are saying my black isn’t beautiful, I know that it is. I am not defined by society’s narrow view of beautiful. I am defined by my own view.

Now let’s look at society’s view to get down to the bottom of this. Even though America is a melting pot of all colors, races and nationalities, society has continued to hold tight its standard ideal of beauty. If you are white, slim and usually blond, you are in the money. Yes it seems as if bigger butts and curves are in, but this is so new and has the possibility to go out of style as trendy clothes and shoes do. Women of color have had curves and bigger butts before they were trendy. And it was not accepted. We are rarely even thought of as beautiful outside our own race. And face challenges within our own race for our darker skin. So when you see an ad where a black woman takes off her shirt and becomes a white woman, it can be a little offensive. In Dove’s defensive, the white woman became another nationality as well. Not sure which and I don’t want to assume her race. So with that you know the message wasn’t meant as racist but was still riding a fine line as inappropriate.

Here are a couple of other instances where black woman or darker skinned black woman are not accepted. A beautiful black woman was featured in an Old Navy ad with an attractive white man and the shit hit the fan. Old Navy got so many complaints that the ad was pulled and that interracial combination has not been seen since. The combination they stick with now is a black woman with a group of other people or by herself. They rarely even show black women with black men. America is not the only country that has a problem with brown skin. There was a young lady, Nayara Justino, who won the crown for Globeleza carnival queen in 2013. The first brown skin black woman since they started the competition in 1993. Yep, same thing. People were so upset with her skin tone that they took her title from her without any explanation or justification. She was replaced with a standard of beauty light skinned woman. Now the television network, Globo, who created the competition said it was not the case, so what was? There are many more instances that I can name but it would take all day and some.

If you are a black woman who did not have a mom like mines or was bullied for your skin tone, these obvious prejudices would be hurtful. To watch ads and rarely see yourself represented, it can be a challenge. To see yourself represented in a way that is questionably, it can be offensive. To attend an event and have a white woman say to you that you are pretty as if she was surprised, you would be a little mad. Damn right I am! Lol. I actually was surprised that she was surprised. I can only assume her circle of people doesn’t include many black people.

I have never been, nor will I ever be the standard of beauty in America. Does this make me not beautiful, hell naw! Fuck their standards. I know that I am beautiful. Do you? If you would like to share your challenges, your hurts or anything else that you would like to add, please leave a comment. Or as always you can email me at elsims27@yahoo.com. To leave a comment, click on the title and a comment box will appear at the end of the post.